It's four am

4.00am

It's four am.

You stood at the end of the street, you hand tightly wrapped around your backpack strap, twisting it with anxiety in your hand and you glanced up into the dark, looking for headlights in the night.

All it had taken was that one argument too far, one punch too hard, one final unkind comment.

"I'm leaving as soon as I turn 18 and I want you to come with me"

He said as he wiped his face with his sleeve, staining it with a mixture of tears and blood.

When the day had rolled around and he had hit 18, there were no parties held, no kegstands, no chants of his name, no drunken mumbles into drunken ears or secret hands in hidden places, there had been planning and devising in the middle of the night. A road map spread out across the mattress, dotted with pen marks, highlighting the way.

Neither of you would be missed and it didn't matter once the pair of you turned that magical age, to you both it meant freedom. For him, freedom from the degradation, the hatefulness and the abuse, for you, freedom to make your own choices, to be the person you wanted to be, to grow up.

"In three weeks time, we go"

He had taken up small jobs around the town, painting houses, fixing cars, shoveling snow, he was exhausted by the end of the day, but the promise of leaving this town in his tail lights with you in his passenger seat brought him comfort. You had babysat for all the families you knew who had children, asking all the parents who looked worn out and seemed like they needed a break from family life for a night, the annoyance of screaming children and snooty looks withering every time you woke up, one day closer to your goal.

"Do we have enough for somewhere to stay?"

"We should do"

"We have my car to sleep in if not"

The night before you two had sat in the quarry, legs dangled over the edge, looking at the stars, hands entwined in silence.

"Is this what you want? I feel like I'm stealing you away"

"My mind is made up, you can't get rid of me now"

Your words prompting a smile, a squeeze of your hand and a light kiss into your hair as you looked up

"This is the last time we'll be here, looking up at this sky"

"Soon it'll be a new sky, one where it's just me and you, no-one else"

You'd sat and wrote a note to your parents, explaining to them where you were going, who you were going with and that you had never been more sure of a decision in your life, packing your bag with a smile on your face

"Are you only bringing one backpack?"

"I don't need much, just clothes and a few creature comforts"

"As long as that's all you need, sweetheart"

"Are you going to tell your dad?"

"No, he can worry about me for once in his life"

You glanced with finality around your bedroom, the walls plastered with posters, you reached forward and plucked a polaroid from your mirror, it was the two of you in the summer, his hair lightened with the sun, his freckles peppered across his nose, his arm wrapped around you tightly and you were both smiling, the secret kept between you, the pact between you held only in the dark and between the sheets causing you an inward happiness that shone through whenever you were in his presence.

It's four am.

Headlights rolled up the street, tearing through the night and drawing a grin from your lips, the car slowed to a stop in front of you and the driver's window eased down.

"Are you ready?"

"I'm ready, Billy."