"For the last time.-"
"-I'm sorry."
And that was that. My adrenaline pumping, my pulse racing, I had felt just awful saying goodbye, I- I did it.
She wouldn't understand, even if she tried to.
I couldn't possibly explain to her what I had seen, and gone through. I couldn't possibly say it in any other way, I'm all too much for those who haven't tasted failure just as much as I felt I did. Now are only dreams of success, those failures mean nothing to me now.
Just a day before my best friends boyfriend tried to take his life. And, now, all of a sudden he's fine.
Reminds me too much of what I did at times when I felt death pressuring me when I could have been at the height of my class. I could have been better than that, but I was too young to grasp my true potential. An understanding most children don't get until they are older.
D: "Why'd you do that."
E: "Oh, Daisy. It was so relieving to take that stress away from me. But it still hurts just a little bit letting go..."
D: "So why did you do it."
E: "Because I had no other choice. You see, we would have never spoken again anyhow. It's not like she's TRYING to contact me, just like Rose. It's, all the same, everyday bullshit I have to think about in my head. I am nothing to them anymore. I am be- they are better off without me."
D: "What about you. Are you truly happy in this state of mind? Relieved, only ten times MORE alone than you were before?"
D: "Last I checked, that was all you complained about, Emily."
D: "Being alone?"
D: "You hate it. Don't you. You hate yourself for doing this. Even if you know it's better for them, they don't care about that. They'll just think less of you. Like before, they think you're a jerk."
E: "WELL THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO! Just sit there and let them ROT on my contacts, or in my DMs?"
E: "Not gonna happen. I don't think you know me all too well, I get over things like this. It's easy. You just concentrate on the fact that it's perfectly silent and you don't have to deal with the drama anymore."
D: "Well, don't forget to 'concentrate' on the fact that after you're gone they'll feel the same."
E: "Wh-"
E: "Wha-"
D: "No more drama, no more complaining."
E: "..."
E: "Well- Well... It's not- wait..."
D: "Gotcha. You don't want them to forget about you, do you? At this point, to you, it doesn't matter if it's good or not. You'll still hate it."
E: "Gahhh STOP. Just stop- you're- fucking with me now. I need to get back to work..."
I spin my head around and get up and out of my little, trance. And head back over to my laptop.
I log onto Wattpad.
^Write story.
Story name:
"Dear friend, I have to leave"
