What exactly is the "friend zone"? I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out all the dynamics of my friendship with him. Indeed we are friends but I'm just so very confused with this whole thing. I guess I should go from the start. So freshman year my best friend, Sarah has this sophomore guy in her Spanish 2 class, and he was being sweet on her but she hardcore friend-zoned him. They still texted but he moved on, she got a boyfriend. One day a month or two later, right after lunch they were talking outside her bio room. Sarah and I are in the same bio class so I decided I should go over and see what's up. Sarah and her boyfriend had just broken up. He had French fries. I love french fries. Anyway Sarah wasn't that upset about this breakup because she felt they were growing distant anyway so it was bound to happen and she was ready. They were in conversation and all I could think about was how much I wanted those God damn fries. "You should totally give me your fires" I interrupted. He handed me the the bag. YES. FRIES ACHIEVED. The one minuet bell rang and he walked off to his chemistry class on the same floor.
A day or two later I got a message on Facebook from him, it read: "Remember me from like a week ago? I gave you French fries." I replied with a simple yes. "Ok, well if you could do me a small favor I would be more than happy to bring you more fries." His message read. "What do I need to do, oh wise one?" I replied. "First I need to know if Sarah has a date to the spring dance." Now I see where he's going with this. "Nope, she doesn't have a date. But I think she's going with a group of girls." I replied. "This is going to be a train wreck. Don't tell her we had this conversation. I have to go. Bye." His message popped up. "Ok bye" I replied. A few hours later he messaged me again, "Forget all that. She already flaked on me." Poor kid. "Aw I'm sorry, she's really indecisive sometimes." I replied. "Tell me about it, well I have to get back to work but if you want to talk later we could." He responded, giving me his number and I texted him letting him know it was me. The next day he texted me apologizing for not being able to talk the previous day and I told him it was okay. He made an effort to get to know me by asking a lot of questions. He asked me what my favorite subject was and I said "Study hall, what's yours?" He said "Haha that's a great academic class. My favorite has to be lunch." "If only mcdonalds was a subject." I replied. "Haha it is. Friday at lunch= McDonalds day." He responded. "Ugh I wish I could drive." I said. "Señorita, you don't need to. You can just ask me for a ride." Well that was flirty. "That would be fab." I said, keeping it friendly. "Do you want to go this Friday? I can ditch all my annoying guy friends." He responded quickly. "That would be lovely." I said. And that Friday we had lunch together then two days later we went to the zoo. I guess we were friends I didn't really know.
He found out quickly that I was severely depressed, I didn't want to keep anything from him in case he had a problem with it. He fully accepted it and didn't change how he acted around me at all, thank god. We texted off and on every day for the next two weeks, I got to know him and he's a great person. But he likes this girl named Avery, she's my friend, I've known her since middle school, she's in my math class. Oh shit, am I jealous? Fuck, I am. All I can do now is pull a Cher form clueless and post really cute and a lil bit sexy pictures on snapchat and Instagram, right? Wrong. Sure he likes my pictures and snapchats me back but he's really into Avery. He even sent me a screen shot of him calling her beautiful and right after saying "oh shit, wrong Jackie." Ouch that stings. I guess this is Jesus telling me to hop off his dick. But for real I was very upset and so I just stopped talking to him. I still thought about him. A lot. After three agonizing weeks I finally texted him. "Hey, can I talk to you?" I sent it crying. "For sure, what's up?" His message came almost instantly. I told him about how I wasn't doing too well in school and how my sister would call me names. He felt bad. I didn't want his pity. I told him about my intentions of cutting that night and he said "I'm happy you came to me first. I don't see why such a beautiful person like yourself would ever want to harm themselves." He texted me until I fell asleep. Why did he call me beautiful? Friends just don't say something like that to someone they just think of as a friend, but he still likes the other girl. So why am I feeling these feelings for someone who is just my friend? And why is it that he's still talking about this other girl fondly? Is this what the "friend-zone" is?
