Never have I ever

Chapter Seven

When I got home, I thought about what happened and the more I thought the angrier I got at the police. They said they would do anything to find Nick, but all they did in the last few weeks was hanging out flyers and send out emails which said that if you saw Nick you should call them as fast as possible. They haven't even searched his house or looked for him themselves. But I had enough. I decided to find him myself. I got pen and paper and went around town asking people when and where they last saw Nick. After three hours, I had a list of places and dates with which I could start my search. And this was the first time I was happy that I live in a small town where pretty much everyone knows each other.

On my way home, I bought a big map of the town and a block of Post-It's. Back in my room I hung up the map on the wall and wrote the dates on the sticky notes and put them on the map, so I could have an overview of where he'd last been seen. I noticed that shortly after nearly killing me and Luke, he was mainly seen near the supermarket. After that he was seen less and less until he disappeared on the day I woke up. But on the days leading up to his disappearance he was mainly seen about 250 metres from his house. The only hiding place around there other than the house itself was a small forest, but I didn't think Nick would be so stupid to hide in there. You could really easily surround it and he would have nowhere to run.

I planned to go there later anywhere. Just to make sure he wasn't there. I spent the next hour making dinner and eating. I left the rest on the stove for my mother, packed my backpack with everything I'd need tonight and got on my way. I first went to the hospital to bring a letter, which I asked a nurse to give to Luke in the morning. Then I went to Nick's house and I was about to go into the woods when I noticed a little light at the bridge down at the stream. So, I turned around and slowly sneaked up to the bridge. Right before I got to the bridge I got jumped and fell into the water, where I passed out, because I bumped my head. I felt someone pick me up, then I passed completely out.

I woke up in a bed. I looked around and it seemed like I was in an apartment, but there weren't any windows. When I finally looked down at myself, I realised that I was only wearing my boxers. I searched the room, but I couldn't find my clothes or a blanket. So, I just sat on the edge of the bed waiting for something to happen. It didn't take long for Nick to come out of one of the two doors in the room. I was surprised about the fact that it didn't surprise me that Nick was the one who put me in here. In the end it was logical that it was Nick, who else would be so crazy.

He came up to me and I automatically pulled my legs to my chest to have at least some kind of protection from him. But he still came closer, even as I tried to get away from him by sliding back into the corer of the bed. Now I was trapped and could only watch Nick get closer and closer. When he got to me he put his hand on my cheek and kissed me aggressively. I tried to push him away, but he held my arms down. Then he suddenly stopped, turned around and went away. At first, I was glad and relaxed a bit, but that wasn't for long, because he walked up to a closet and took out a rope. He came back and tied my hands to the bed. He pushed me into the pillow and whispered in my ear: "I'm going to make you want me again." He then bit into my ear, licked my dace and then pulled down my boxer shorts.

I was crying for what seemed like eternity. I was lying in the bed without a blanket, naked and ashamed. Ashamed of not fighting harder for my dignity, for myself. My hands were still tied to the bed frame and after raping me, he also tied together my feet. He pushed his cold body against me and just felt dirtier and was freezing even more. I thought I wanted to die when I was in a coma and fighting through the pain, but the physical pain wasn't half as bad as the psychological pain I felt in that moment. I spent the night, at least I thought it was at night, fantasising about being rescued. I imagined Luke coming in and freeing me from Nick, pulling me into his arms and just holding me forever.

Over the next few days, I think, I became his sex toy. Every time he raped me, he told me that he just did it, because he loved me, because he wanted to make me love him too. But every time he hurt me, I hated him more and lost another bit of my hope. I realised that I didn't know where I was or how to get out of here. I felt myself going slowly insane. I was tied to that bed 24/7, he fed me, he washed me, he basically had complete control over me and he liked it. No, he didn't like it, he loved it. He loved seeing me pee myself or f*cking and choking me 'til I cried or passed out.