Gone // Nct [Book 2 of letters]

four.

you know that feeling of losing someone so damn important to you but knowing there's nothing you can fucking do about it because they're gone? yeah, well, that's how nct feels like.

the funerals been going on for so long but that's because there's still one person left, yuta. he hasn't said a word since they arrived. i mean, what is he supposed to say?

seeing that renjun sat down after his little speech, yuta knew he was the only one left. the only one who can't say goodbye. he just won't, he doesn't want to move on, the amount of love he had for sicheng killed him even more knowing he wouldn't be able to show it.

why does life have to feel so heavy?

why can't everyone just move on like others would?

it's not that simple, you would think attending someone's funeral will allow you to be free but for some reason, right now, that's not the case.

sicheng wasn't just some person who died, he was someone special. a boy who's irreplaceable.

even though it was yuta's turn, he wasn't moving. the only thing that was, was his hands covering his face as he cried. someone who never got emotional or cried as much sure did have a lot of emotions showing.

can you blame him? 

after a good ten minutes of crying, the boy leaned over and whispered to taeyong, "i c-can't do it...please don't make me." it wasn't the respectful thing to do and everyone might look down on him but...he just wasn't ready.

to be honest, he never knows if he'll ever be ready.

guess that's life huh?

a really shitty fucking life.

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The funeral ended finally, everyone could go home and move on with their life, remembering all the great times they once shared, all the laughs they had together, meals, fights, tears, and well, love.

life won't be easy for them but they'll spend their days worth the while, remembering all the things they did with sicheng. there won't be a day that goes by without the other on their mind.

as they head back to the entertainment building, not a voice was heard besides other cars zooming back and forth. some were sleeping, others lost in thought, a couple holding onto one another or just crying.

"i know today isn't exactly what you imagined but you can't blame yourselves, none of us are responsible for his death, we had no clue he was hurting, i won't say to move on right away but please, we can't have another funeral involving either one of you, not now, not ever. promise me we'll all check in with each other even if we're feeling fine?" taeyong spoke, breaking the silence, grabbing everyone's attention.

after what felt like a long silence, johnny responded "taeyong's right, we should be careful with what's said around everyone, we're all going to handle this differently, mentally and physically, some worse than others. there's no saying in what will happen over the next week but we should have group meetings every friday to check in." everyone seemed to agree with the two so they quietly said okay.

"then it's settled, we'll have a mandatory meeting every friday." mark stated, before resting his head upon hyuck's shoulder.

once again the car fell in silence.

'a meeting? are they fucking serious? how is a meeting magically supposed to help anyone?' yuta thought, scoffing quietly.

he wasn't going to say anything outloud though, if it'll make everyone feel at ease then he'll suck it up and go, just for them.

for sicheng.

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ahh i know this is a really short chapter but i wanted to get something out because i have so many ideas and i'm trying to piece them together butsjdjkd it's so much harder than i thought it was going to be
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i hope you all enjoyed this chapter though<3
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i don't usually like to time skip but i didn't know how to make every member say their goodbyes when some weren't really a big part in the first book
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anyways i'll see y'all in the next chapter💘