EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS
In a world where immorality has become something normal and acceptable even in our less developed societies, you see full grown adults displaying habits and living a lifestyles which is disgusting and not encouraging at all, extra marital affairs, is now a new trend in most societies, it's a situation whereby a married man/woman engage his/her self in sexual/romatic relationship with another person other than their spouses. During the time of our forefathers this was seen as a taboo and an illicit act and it has never been accepted and whomsoever is found guilty he/she is being dealt with and most times there are being given a death sentence but in our today's world, the case is different though, our religion differs the two most practiced religion is Christianity and Islam, A man is allowed to marry only one wife in in Christianity while Islam allows a man to marry four wives if only he will be able to treat them right and equally and marrying more than one husband is totally prohibited in both religions. even though in the olden days a man marries as much as he desires couple with the fact that he has a lot of money to carter for their needs. Extra marital affairs happens in most part of the world irrespective of tribes and religion.
It is now seen as a lifestyle for men to have baby mama's I.e having sex and producing kids with women who aren't their wives and do not plans of marrying at all, those women are just there just like mistresses and most times its as a form of contract they are being paid for it. Older women, who finds it difficult to get attention from their husbands also engage themselves in this act they go around searching for younger men most especially who can satisfy them sexually and they also pay them for their service. We see a lot of married men having the desire to date married women and same goes to the women also.
what is actually wrong with people who fail to understand the beauty and significance of being loyal to their spouse ?
I have had experience where you will hear young ladies saying they can't stop communicating and won't cut the relationship they have with their male friends or ex's even after marriage some might change their mind after then, but most of them will stick to their words they feel loyalty is just not for them. Sometimes, our partners might be the reason behind this act,some men especially don't give their wives enough time of interaction, they don't show the love,care and affection they are used and most especially the romantic life that every married person desired for, they will also dump it all in the name of work, stress, and irrelevant excuses the women have no other choice other than to find men who will meet their demands some can even go to the extent of having an affair with their workers like gateman, errand boys, cooks etc.. And same goes to the men when they have busy women as their wives they find it difficult to hold themselves so, they chose to have affair outside home, or with their house helps some will even have an affair with the wife's close relative maybe her sister,cousin or anyone staying under the same roof with them.
Some Reasons behind EMA;
Carelessness; this can be as a result of carelessness by the husband/wife, when you are into marriage there a lot of sacrifices that one has to do, if a wife acts all lazy and dirty and not able to do some of the tradition our mothers did back then, like
Cooking
Taking care of the kids if any
Washing dishes
Tidying up the house
Giving enough time to the her family etc the husband might have a second thought on getting a new wife and if his religion does not permit then, he will would not even think otherwise, he will definitely have a girl outside his home who will do all that for him unless if he is strong in faith. You sometimes see a man who is all busy with work and can travel for weeks/months without seeing his family. There might be this urge for him while he is away and he might have a mistress at his work place and the wife also, due to loneliness she might also end up having another man in the absence of her husband.
Forced/arranged marriage;
When individuals are forced by their parents or guardians to marry someone out of their will and desire, they will in most cases look for someone who match their taste or will still be seeing their ex's outside marriage.
Inability to satisfy your spouse sexually; today, sex is being seen as one of the most important thing in marriage even though some people don't believe it's, if couples are facing the trouble of being sexually satisfied by their partner most of them can't open up and tell their partners so, they could find a solution the first thing they think of is to get themselves someone outside or even within their home premises to satisfy them and this is not right.
°lack of understanding and communication between couples
°some individuals do it to hurt their partners
°friends influence
°temptation/lack of contentment
°selfishness
°some men are natural womanizers no matter how loyal a woman is they must always cheat
°materialism displayed by women; if a man is not rich enough to carter for his wife's need and she happens to be a materialistic woman, she will have affairs with other men to have money.
°social media
Consequences of EMA;
•it leads to divorce
•it leads to fight and quarrel
•it makes an individual hate and lose respect for his or her partner
•it leads to broken home
•it divides the family
•it leads to mental and emotional stress experienced by the innocent partner
Depression
Sadness
Heartbreak
Pain/anxiety
And can even lead to suicide.
Solutions;
°there should be mutual understanding between couples
°individuals should not be forced to marry out of their will
°couples should always go for marriage counseling before and after marriage
°try not to have any negative relationship with a married person
°couples should stick to the promise they made to each other before marriage
°don't be too busy to spend time with your family and loved ones
°couples should always go for honey moons to revive the love they have for each other
°stay away from all kind of temptations
°always be there for your partner in terms of pain happiness and sorrow
°Stay away from toxic people
°don't marry an individual who is not strong in faith and religion
°always tell your partner how you feel about them them in every aspect of the marriage, don't keep secrets
°As a married individual don't be so engaged to social media looking at the lifestyle of others always have time for your spouse and children .
°seek positive advice on how to make your spouse happy and contented physically, socially, mentally, and sexually.
In a happy marriage, it is the wife who provides the climate, the husband the landscape. – Gerald Brenan.
H.A.sarauniya
May 2019.
