Teenage Diary

Chapter 1 - Intro

Have you ever wondered what the hell have happened to your life, because I know I do? I remember those days when I wasn’t worried how I look, if I am skinny or fat – well I didn’t even know what fat was until now, when my life I have turned upside down. The worse is that adults thinks they know how we feel, because they think the depression is a part of the puberty, well if it is so – puberty isn’t easy!

The other day I was at a doctor (of course my mum fixed a doctor who I can talk about my weight) and she says I look like twelve year old, just because I’m thin but other people thinks I look older, AND she is supposed to make me feel better? I hate doctors. The doctor actually forces me to gain 7kg in 3 months just because I lost weight. Why can’t they see that I feel better now than before, why can’t anyone get that? It is my life, I know what I’m doing and I know what is best for myself, forcing me to gain weight won’t make me feel any better.

Let me tell you this. Everything will be better, this is what everyone says and I try to believe in that too. At the time when you feel bad everything you think about is how to survive the day, I know, I’ve been there to, and I still am.  One small thing happened, and your day is ruined. All you want to is to be gone, gone from this world you don’t fit in. Let tell you, don’t think like that, even if I do all the time, YOU fit in somewhere I’m as hell sure of that. It will come the day when you find you true love, one person who really loves you is better than hundreds of people ‘’loving you’’ but not really. It will come one day that you are thankful for what you have and one day when you’re happy that you are standing here in this world even if everything has been one big mess. We all have been there, but one way or another; we fight over that until everything is just fine.

My name is Aleksandra, I’m a normal, depressed teenage girl and this is my life story.