Melancholy

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Melancholy 

When I first met you , I allowed you to my dinner table

Where all the food was served to feed you and me,but you were too greedy

So you ate it all up and left me hungry.

Crying became my first name and Pretence was my second.

Inexorable , you became .

But you felt no remorse , you continued eating  me up during my dreams and when I was just awake on a normal day

You consumed me everyday , dragged all the oxygen my lungs contained

Broke me apart and removed the spine I didn't have to stand up for myself

Every organ in my body ate me alive, how possible is that?

My liver could not withstand the consumption of thousands of pills

And all I could feel was needles you were poking my skin with ,making me numb to pain

You promised me stars and the whole universe but brought back bottles of alcohol and unpleasant report cards.

You filled my internet site with searches "how to die peacefully"

You made me want my grave to be the bedroom I never have to be told to clean and my coffin the bed I never have to wake up from.

You made flower beds of my insecurities

Watering them with insults

Putting them in vases, on my tombstone before my friends .

Putting them in vases, on my tombstone before my friends

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I hope you enjoy breaking my emotions everyday.

i cannot find me anymore, but i will keep  wearing masks to hide the monster i have turned into .

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