Secrets shouldn't exist

Linking

School. It's the very definition of stress. Who's idea was it to put thousands of teenagers through years of hell just for a month of exams to decide the fate of the rest of our lives. Then again, I guess I have it pretty good, some people really struggle through school and end up ruining their lives. Although I have mild anxiety, I'm pretty smart and I'm doing really well at school. It seems like my whole future has already been planned out by my predicted GCSE results but I try to not let them define me. I am my own person and whose to say that I might get all 9s in my GCSEs and end up becoming a litter picker, anything can happen.

There is one thing helping me get through school though, there's this guy I've started talking to, Max. When I talk to him I forget about everything that's going on around me and focus on him and only him. I know it sounds really cliché but it's true. He's my one saviour in this world. Everyday, straight after I've come home from school, he texts me and we end up for talking for hours. Then we both realise and have to go because life waits for no one, unfortunately. 

*ping*

Max: Hey Eleanor, how was skl? x

I know it was him as soon as I heard my phone go, he texts me everyday without fail and if he didn't, I'd be seriously concerned about his health.

Me: You know how I'm going to respond to that xx

Max: Just checking that nothing interesting had happened x

He knows about all of my issues and I know about all of his. He's the only person who understands and doesn't judge me. I won't divulge into my past but life has been worse for me and now I'm moving on step by step even though I know my problems will never completely disappear.

Me: Definitely not. How was ur day? xx

Max: Pretty average, still stuck inside x

Max is home schooled so he doesn't know what its like to go to school, but then again, I don't know what it's like to be home schooled. This is also one of the reasons why we can't meet, unsurprisingly there's a list: he lives too far away; we're both really busy; we both have strict parents and we'd have to meet up somewhere in public (which both our parents would never allow).

Me: I really wish that I could see u, for real xx

~

Me: Same, you don't understand how bad I wanna hug you x

We've only been talking for a couple of months but I feel like I've known her forever and I really like her, and I mean really. She's my one saviour in this world. I trust her with my life but there's so much that I can't tell her. It really kills me that she can't know the truth and it would kill her more if she found out that I was twisting the truth, but she can never know, ever.

Eleanor: Who said that I don't xx

If only she know what kind of a day I really had.

Me: I did x

Eleanor: That's not fair xx

Life isn't fair babes but we have to deal with it, it's complete and utter bull. I hate it. It's not her fault though, it's mine. If only I had a different family, my life would be completely changed and I could meet her, really see her in the flesh instead of through a screen on a snap sent by her. We can't even facetime that's one of the worst things about it. If my dad found out that I was talking to a girl he'd kill me, which is why I have to try and be discreet. I must be doing something right because I haven't been caught yet.

Me: Sorry b, but it's true x

Eleanor: I don't believe u in the slightest xx

Of course she doesn't, typical Eleanor. Damn, I've gotta go,I'm late. Dad's gonna kill me.

Me: gtg, sorry x

Eleanor: K, ttyl xx

Well someone's upset that I'm going, she never abbreviates her text's that much.