Do you know what it's like? Depression, I mean. Well, for me it's like drowning except you can see everyone else around breathing. & scars aren't just scars, they're the demons I fought off at 3 AM. They're my insecurites, my deepest fears, and all the lonely nights. They're the insults I have recieved, and the emotions I can't contain. They are apart of me and what I have become. To me depression is wondering what it's like to wake up an love yourself, to look in the mirror and not want to cry; to be with friends and not feel ugly, to go in public an not feel insecure. Its wondering how it would be to go shopping for clothes without feeling fat. It just makes me wonder what it would be like to love life. With self harm you'd think that when I took a blade to my skin I'd be in a panic, crying, hypervenalationg, sobbing uncontrollabally. But really, when I feel my skin split in two is when I feel the most calm.
