Miss me?

Me, myself, and I

My mom always loved her weed, but when she had me she turned into a hardcore soccer mom. "Cassidy!" "Yes coach mini mouse" "you better be ready for the soccer game tomorrow!" "Yes, I will" "good, everyone is dismissed" my mom is an actual soccer mom. "Yay go you!" I put my earbuds in and ignore her all the way home. When we got home I went straight to my room, and slammed the door shut. I stopped and turned. "I am so ugly"

(Me searchs up stock images)👌

I flopped on to my bed listening to Hannah Montana, because my mom won't let me have a phone. Instead I have a I pod full of all of Hannah's albums.

I wake up and realize it 4:00. "No!" I missed my daily routine of being a depressed teen. "BAM!" I sit up to see my aunt shaniqua has flew through the roof. "Oh no you don't, time to fix yo life!"

Aunt shaniqua grabs my wrist and we fly off using her sassy power. She shows me the world. For the first time I know how everything works including how babies get pooped out and are not carried by storks. "Wow auntie shaniqua thanks!" I yelled while we were flying" "Don't mention it!"
Then right before we reached my house my stupid Asian neighbor shot at us for flying over his house. Aunt shaniqua served and missed but we were heading straight up and out of the world. I passed out but before I could not breathe aunt shaniqua flew super fast down to my house. She yeeted some magical powers down to my house and threw me at it. I landed softly and awoke seconds after. But poor auntie shaniqua had her favorite brown shirt all burnt up along with the rest of her clothes.

WHAT IS THIS?! Aunt shaniqua is a uncle! I then got eye cancer and died days later. Why auntie? Why?

Rip basic bitch Cassidy.

This was only the beginning of the end.