Why Don't We one shots bxb (2)

♡ Dark Side Of Being A Stan~Zonah ♡

Ship(s): Zonah (Zach and Jonah)

Prompt: because even though Zach never had Jonah's heart, Jonah always had his

Famous or nah: only Jonah

-3rd person POV-

Zach let tears fall down his pink cheeks as he stared at his idol. Jonah Marais. Realization had hit him that night.

Zach didn't have Jonah's heart. Not the way Jonah had his. And nothing hurt more then that feeling. That feeling of not having the person's heart who has yours. It's a feeling so terrible.

Zach has never met Jonah. And on some days, it got to him. Others not so much because he heard it was worse when you meet them. Because you crave their touch, their warmth, their hugs, their voice when in reality they probably don't even think about you. And it could be months before you could ever see him again. Tonight Zach was having an emotional breakdown.

Some would say it's silly but to Zach, it was heartbreaking.

Jonah has helped him through so much. Zach has depression and there's days where he doesn't want to smile nor laugh but Jonah always seems to make him do that. No matter how he feels. Jonah was there for Zach when no one else was. Jonah has helped Zach without even knowing it. The boy behind a screen has helped Zach more then people in Zach's life have.

Zach has hoped that in some bullshit magic way, Jonah would take an interest in him. That it would turn out to be a wattpad story. But Zach came to realization that it wouldn't happen. Jonah has Tate. A model, an independent woman, a woman who knows herself and her politics, a person worthy, a person Zach could never be nor compare to.

Each picture of them was a stab to Zach's heart. Zach knew he didn't have a chance but Jonah being single gave him hope. Now, there was none.

Zach was happy of course. He wanted Jonah happy. But he couldn't help but want to be the person that made Jonah happy.

The truth was that Jonah didn't think of Zach. Jonah didn't even know Zach existed. And that's what hurt the most. That the person you truly love and admire doesn't even know you breath. It's like you're nothing to them while they are everything to you.

Zach wanted to stop idolizing him, he wanted to stop supporting Jonah, to get rid of the pain in his chest. To stop feeling down. But he couldn't do it. Because no matter how much Jonah brought him pain, Jonah also brought him happiness when he couldn't find it anywhere else.

Jonah was everything to Zach. And he couldn't let it go.

Zach was in the middle of nowhere and Jonah brought him back to land. Zach was drowning and Jonah saved him.

How could Zach just stop? He couldn't. He felt like he owned Jonah.

Zach silently cried as a pic of Tate and Jonah popped up on his Instagram feed. Damn did it fucking hurt. That feeling in your chest is a pain no one should experience.

It's the feeling of knowing you will never be worthy for someone. The feeling knowing you will never amount to anything that they are looking for. The feeling of basically being trashed compared to the person you love's girlfriend.

Used to, Zach wasn't like this. He didn't care. He wanted Jonah to be happy. So why did it matter all of a sudden? He had no idea.

Maybe it was because he couldn't trust anyone with Jonah. He wanted Jonah to be happy and not feel an ounce of pain. He didn't want anyone to hurt Jonah. Zach knew that pain to well. And damn he would never wish that on anyone.

But Zach put on a brave face and faked a smile. Because he didn't matter to Jonah. Jonah would do whatever would make him happy. And that's exactly what Zach wanted him to. He didn't want Jonah to live how others wanted him to.

At the end of the day, Jonah would be living that life. No one else would. Just him.

So with a fake smile, he commented,

"They are so cute! Omg I love them! My parents!"

And as soon as he pushed send, the sobs escaped his mouth. He threw his phone somewhere and sobbed his broken heart out. Cause it felt like no one understood him.

To others, this would be silly. But Zach was truly hurting and he wanted it to go away.

Zach wanted a hug. From a person. From one specific person. But that person didn't even know he existed.

Zach was left sobbing and heartbroken in the darkness of his bedroom.

This was the dark side of being a Stan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote this when I was in my feels with corbina 🤧 I SHIP THEM OKAY! So don't come @ me. It just hurts! And I actually do ship them, they make each other happy.

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-Mariana

I'm getting really bad at updating this book 😤😪 I'm sorry y'all 😫😪 y'all deserve much more 😪