A Girl Is a Half-Formed Thing

EXTREME UNCTION (Excerpt)

There was someone on the phone was saying it’s like fingers through

his brain. Was it our mother, probably was, saying how chemo ordered

administered make you puke like mad. They said though like fingers

breaking down. Like fingers starting to bleed. I said it was an old one

but. I told them it’s not new. Mammy I. Because God you see. I would

never survive. He wouldn’t ask that of. He wouldn’t ask me that. But I

know we must wait a few weeks then scan. To see it all it will be peeled

back.

For we’re dangling by our ankles. When will I you she fall in? Think I’ll

spend my time going again. Home. Back there. Trains passing like teeth

through my head.

Home. Knock knock. Well now, says the man, we came to lend our

support. The ministry missionary fellowship. On the doorstep but right

in my eyes. Praise the Lord praise the Lord above. We’re not Christians

you know, that way. The way like you are I say. We’re Catholics. Yes

but we heard about your brother? Brother. We heard of you and know

you’ll want to hear the good good news. Oh whatsit? Jesus loves you.

Right enough and so and is there some more better news than that?

The best news. See, the best news you will ever hear. I doubt. Don’t

think that’s true I think chemo worked or miracle cure could be better

even than that. Now see that’s where you’re wrong for only Christ saves.

From above. From up the clouds where heaven is right? And the kingdom

of heaven will come again. I don’t think so sorry afraid don’t agree

with that. That’s the problem. Why he’s dying. You see the devil got

in. What? In your house. Don’t think that’s true. Down the chimney,

up the plug hole did he how did he get in? He’s inside you he’s around

you and he’ll drag you down. To the pit. I well know it. And your family

too and is your father dead I heard he was. See see see? No. Wages of

a Godless life. What do you know? Jesus loves you and he wants into

your life. Let him come on in if he wants to. That’s the wrong attitude

to take. Invite him into your heart and soul. He was whipped and bled

and beat for you, for you and all your grievous sins. Was he now, is that

so? It is and so now so there. Did I ask him? Did I want it? Was that ever

what I said slice yourself up so many years ago for me for ever for what

I’ve done? Indeed indeed sharper than a serpent’s tooth thankless child.

You’re Jesus’ child. I am not. You are. Just let him in. Off the doorstep

now I know enough’s enough. So you’re content to let your brother die? 

      What? For your pride and for your wrongs. He’s cancer. But. There