if you could get me a drink (One-Shot)

if you could get me a drink

trigger warning: death

Her lips felt dry but her whole body ached every time she tried to reach for the water that was standing next to her bed. Though it wasn't far her weak body still couldn't make it and she let out a quiet sigh. She turned her head and smiled at Camila's sleeping figure, curled up in a chair, standing in the corner of the dark room.

She was always there. Whether it was on a hot summer day, or a cold winter night, she hadn't left Lauren's side for past months and over the time, Lauren had asked herself endless times what she would do if the tables were turned. Would she be the one sleeping next to a hospital bed? Or would she have run away a long time ago? Though she would never get an honest answer to this question, deep down she knew she wasn't as strong as Camila was. She knew she didn't have the strength for two people and she knew if the tables were turned it would break her.

She looked at the other girl for a while longer and noticed that even in her dreams Camila looked so worried. After another minute Lauren had to look away because no matter how much pain shot through her body each time, she tried move it, it was nothing compared to the pain she felt when she was looking at Camila, while knowing what she made the other girl go through.

Instead of looking at the girl she loved, she started to stare at the ceiling. Some nights she would look at it and feel numb other times she would look at it and feel everything she had tried to bottle up before. This night, it started with a single tear that silently rolled down her cheek but ended up in an uncontrollable sobbing.

After a few minutes she could feel how Camila took her hand and she had to look at her again. "Pssh, everything is gonna be alright, baby." Camila whispered, now standing next to Lauren. They both knew it wasn't a promise to be kept. Lauren saw it in Camila's eyes, she saw that Camila had accepted the way of the world. And more importantly, she saw how Camila just wanted to get closer and hold her, but something kept her from it and Lauren knew what it was. The other girl was too scared to break her, as if she was made of porcelain.

"Come here and lay next to me," Lauren told her with a sad smile and scooted over in the small bed. "As long as you still can."

Camila lied down next to her and kissed her cheek, getting a salty aftertaste of Lauren's tears. "Don't say it like that." She warned Lauren and put her arms around her cold body. She could only assume that Lauren must've been freezing since she had never talked about the symptoms. Lauren always told her how she was feeling, but never why. She didn't tell her when her limps hurt, or when she was cold. She simply said that she wasn't feeling well and kept Camila from asking further questions about her physical health.

"Okay," Lauren said, but both were aware that it didn't make her words less true. There was only a certain amount of time left and even though no one could predict how long it was, they knew it wasn't much.

Lauren could feel how she was slowly losing touch to reality. It felt like her body was in a stage of sleep, with thoughts on her mind that didn't make sense. Barely anything she thought fit together anymore, but before she could even try to put any pieces of her mind together, she lost consciousness and she would awake to new worries. She knew her body became tired of fighting this fight for years, and she understood that it could give up any moment.

"Are you scared?" Camila asked when the silence felt too heavy. She used the love the silence between them, but now, where things got worse with every day, however, she couldn't turn off all these thoughts that messed with her head.

"No," Lauren shook her head, without daring to look inn Camila's eyes. She couldn't look her in the eyes with the knowledge that she could leave her any moment. Nevertheless, she gave her an honest answer to her question. She didn't feel scared of what would come soon. It was only a question of time. Somewhen soon things would end and she had made peace with herself a long time ago. This could be her last moments, or maybe she had a few more days to go, but she didn't believe in more. She didn't believe in a miracle that could save her at this point, because hoping hurt so much that she decided it wasn't worth it a long time ago.