CHAPTER ONE
It was one freezing morning in September when the cool breeze of air kissed my skin that tells cold season was approaching near. I was having a stroll on a beach when I saw this guy, In his early thirty's jogging down the seashore, Our eyes met when he was passing closer in front of me, I felt my blood rise and I couldn't help it, I just went red knowing he caught me looking at him. He smiled back and I looked down. Actually, I was afraid he might see my cheeks so red. I gave him one final look when he was running back. How could he not catch my attention, his face looks so familiar to me, although I just saw him for the first time. It was like I met him before. .I just don't know when and where...
I made my way back to the cottage where my family is having their picnic. They were all having fun, my kids eating and playing, my husband drinking his 🍺 beer. My hubby saw me coming and asked me why it took me so sudden to go back, he knows I'm taking a walk, knowing me, he knew I need to be alone most of the time. he married a writer...
I couldn't tell him about the guy and the feeling that arisen inside me. I was in my early forties and having a complete happy family, I can't imagine myself fascinated with another guy especially someone younger than me, and besides, I have a handsome and almost perfect husband, why look for another..I removed the idea in my mind and went joining my family..
It was evening when the family retires to sleep inside the cosy cottage, my kids all asleep after being exhausted from swimming the whole day. My hubby, having been intoxicated from the beers, dozed off and I went out at the terrace. I was sitting in front of my laptop and was about to write a poem when I saw one familiar image slowly walking pass outside the nipa house. It was a bright evening with light bulbs shining all over the beach resort so I could actually see his familiar image, the thirty-something young man, walking alone with a bottle of soda in hand.. He eyes found mine and I looked down but to my clumsiness, I actually fell down my chair that was made of the bamboo tree.. He saw me fell and went near to rescue. He was hesitant to get inside to where I fall so he asked, "Are you okay, Ma'am?" I answered, "I'm fine. I just fell by mistake." He asked if I need help but I got up right away, to show I didn't need it.. he smiled and he went in his way and I froze in disappointment. I closed my laptop and went inside our bedroom where my hubby snore and in deep sleep.
My heartbeat raced and I felt the guilt so I hugged my hubby and yes, it was hours later before I finally slept.
One year has passed, it was again September when my husband signed the paper of our annulment. My misty eyes holding the tears that want to fall. It was a few months ago when I found out about his recent relationship with another girl when I finally took the courage to ask him which of us he loves more, he has chosen his mistress. With few agreements about financial assistance in our kids, I decided to let him go. I thought I need a break and to unwind, my kids went for a holiday in my parents house and I went back to this familiar beach one cold September, but unlike the usual trip which I and my family take, I went here alone, in this same place, same cottage, with just me and my laptop..
I cried and I doubted if I made the right decision to set him free, but my ex-husband doesn't love me anymore, 20 years of being married, what have I done for him to fall out of love? It might have been me, it was all my fault.. I took some wine and this time, I let myself drink. It was a nice feeling to let go of my emotions. I cried and shouted where no one could hear, just the loud roar of the current raging at the sea wall. This evening the tides were so huge and there was no one here but me, I could feel the waters trying to get me, so I went closer...my pyjama's dripping wet, I became numb, I just want to get near the water and the waves found me and dragged nearer to the sea and I felt the water engulfing me.. I was about to get drowned when a hand pulled me up and carried me to the shore. He was shouting and laid me down the sand. He was searching for signs of unconsciousness in me but I was sane, and he got mad. "Are you mad?" he says? Then I started to cry...He just stayed there with one knee kneeled while facing me.. while I sobbed in the sand. I don't know how long I cried but he tapped my shoulder telling me I need to get up or I'll freeze with cold. When I didn't move. The pair of hands actually carried me and I just let him do it.. I didn't know why, but I let him take me to his cottage instead. He took a towel and wrapped me with it. While I just sat in silence trying to figure out the silliness I did. He was silent just looking at me. When I finally came back to my senses, I finally was able to look at his face, I was right, even from the sand where I lie and sobbed. I knew he was the man, the man whom I saw a year ago in this same beach and the same man who rescued me from drowning. He smiled and asked if I want anything. I smiled back and said, "thank you but I need to go back to my cottage". He offered to assist me and I nodded.. He took me to my place, this time he was able to come inside my cottage. He looked around, maybe looking for my companions but found out I was alone. He was hesitated at first but asked anyway, I said I'm taking a vacation alone. He didn't say anything, and the room was filled with silence. Then he asked if it's okay if he stays so he could guard me, as he felt I'm not capable of being alone. I said I will be fine, though hesitated, he left my room. I took a shower and changed. My headaches from hanging over, although the spirit of wine is finally gone. I couldn't help but think, what if this young man didn't see me, I might actually let myself be drowned. I shook my head and regretted my stupidity. I went outside the terrace with my coffee when I saw the familiar man outside my cottage still standing.. I think he never left, after all, he just stayed there. I went out and approached him. I think I owe him my life. He saw me and he smiled.
