Japan

Prologue

"I stare up at the narrow strip of sky that my eyes can see, the sky is orange, it gives off a tone of sadness, yet it looks so peaceful" I have no idea why I was blurting out literature class notes about the situation I was in at that time, I mean, it would've been alright if I wasn't in the dumpster at the back of our school. This place reeks, but I guess I've gotten used to it by now, I mean, anyone would after being treated a certain way for almost their entire school life, I was the target for bullies on our floor, they threw me in the dumpster for ignoring them when they called me a loser just now, well it's not the best, but that's my life, and me saying that is no "I'm thankful for what I have"-ish statement, I just learned to 'enjoy the pain' I guess. I realized I can't stay in that dumpster the entire day thinking about random stuff so I decided to get out, and once I did, I heard giggles coming from outside the narrow alleyway I was in, it was two girls, they were my class mates, well I don't know about 'mates' but they were in my class, it was Hikari and Azumi, and they were laughing at none other than my great looks for coming out of dumpster (I'm being sarcastic) they were laughing because obviously I look like some retarded nerd kid who doesn't even realize what's going on, to be honest, it's the exact opposite, I couldn't have known more about what's going on. Hikari and Azumi left my sight, both laughing their hearts out, I sigh, "Laughed at by my crush, I really am the most miserable guy there is huh?" I say to myself. Azumi was my first crush ever in the school I'm attending to, 'Yukino Middle School' guess the world doesn't magically work the way you want it to. I go pick up my bag which was at the side of the dumpster because it landed there when I was thrown into there, and then smelling like rotten cheese, I make my way home.
Come to think of it, I wasn't always this miserable, there used to be a time when things were not so bad for me, It was really long ago, it almost seems like an entire life time ago, I still remember.....

"I was born on the 25th of April, 2004, at New York, USA, I was given the name, Peter Stone, by my dad, and I lived a pretty normal life any kid in the states would, I went to a usual school, I had usual friends, my best friend at the time I remember was a dude called Christen, and we were known to be the troublemakers in the classroom, and I had one hell of a childhood because of my time with that guy, it was just the best, carefree life anyone could ever ask for. I had two main interests in my childhood and these interests never changed once up to the present, Anime and Music, I had an immense love for anime because even though I was a little kid at that time, Anime made me understand complex and deep stuff that the school I went to wasn't teaching me and it was mind-blowing for me, how so much emotion can be put into something as simple as a couple dozen of episodes, that's basically what drew me into anime, the emotional content, and music was there for me for as long as I can remember, I grew up listening to hits by One Direction, The Wanted, JLS ,and then I moved on to more mature artists once I hit a certain age, I started listening to The Weekend, Eminem, Ed Sheeran, Shawn Mendes and a lot of pop artists, but One Direction was always my favorite, music was my strong suit in school too, I loved participating in talent competitions to sing, and to be honest I've won every single one that was held in our school, but the trophies really didn't matter to me, all I signed up for is that feeling I get when I perform on stage, that adrenaline rush and the simple bliss of music playing above everything surrounding you, that feeling when words fail to express and then music just overrules everything and takes over, that is the feeling I literally lived for. If I had anything that categorized under 'problems' it was just the fact that I had terrible grades and also because the neighborhood saw me as unpatriotic because I was too Japan influenced apparently, but those things never bothered me because I was just doing what I loved. And so that is what my childhood life was like, it was, normal, that is the best word to describe my childhood life, normal. So life went on for me, until one day I come home and I saw dad talking to mom as if we had just won a million dollars, and so I asked my mom what was going on, and she replied saying "Your father has got a promotion at work!" and then I said "that's nice! Where is the promotion to?" and what she said to me next surprised me even more, "Japan. We leave in a month" and I just literally stood there for like five minutes, open mouthed and surprised to the extent where I didn't even know what to say, and then I spoke " so are we gonna like live there?" and my mom nodded with a smirk on her face because she knew how much I loved Japan, and I literally, no joke, ran around the neighborhood once because I was high on happiness, I was so damn happy, but then I felt a bit bummed out too because I was leaving behind a lot of people, I was leaving behind Christen, I was leaving behind a house that I knew for my entire life, and I was leaving behind an entire life, because once I go there, nothing is ever gonna be the same way again. And so arrived the day of our flight, and I had a little hangout at Christen's place with all the kids in my class at school who I was leaving behind, it wasn't an emotional moment at first but then when the hangout was over and I had to go back home to finish up packing, Christen got super emotional, and the other kids gave in with him and let out their tears, and then I had to cheer up every single one of them, and I managed to make a tiny impact on them because I got them to smile in the last moment I see them, and that made me happy, because even though I was a puny little kid at that time, I liked the idea of helping people, of making people smile, and so I wanted to the same things with my friends whom I would not get to see for the rest of my life after I leave. Once we boarded the plane, the first thing I did was put my headphones on and I listened to music the entire trip, I was so excited to live In Japan because I believed that I would be able to experience what my favorite anime characters were experiencing, the simple bliss of Japan. And finally we arrived to Japan and I couldn't have been more exited, I was literally jumping, and then we got on a train and we travelled to Saitama, where my dad was told his new workspace is located, and our apartment was also in Saitama, and once we got to the apartment, my excitement levels just flew past the skies, because not only did our apartment look like the typical Japanese apartments that you see in anime, but it was actually there, in our garden, a live, actual Sakura tree, with all the pink Sakura flowers. I was so ecstatic, it was like a dream come true, and the first day spent in Japan was like a total "heaven on earth" type of thing, and the next week I had to go to my Japanese school and I was so excited. So thinking of that day only, I went to bed.
The day finally came, my first day in a Japanese school. I put on my uniform, complete with a school blazer, and then I head out to school, I insisted that I walked to school, because I kinda felt like it wouldn't be an authentic anime experience if I didn't walk to school. And once I got to school, I felt as happy as ever, I was almost to the point of crying out of happiness, there were Sakura trees everywhere, and the building was huge! And I was ready for the best school day of my entire life. So I went to my class, which was 1-A, and I saw all the people that I'd be spending middle school with, but I didn't go to the classroom yet, because japan had this thing of the teacher introducing new students to the class and since I was an exchange student, it was no excuse for me to not to follow that tradition. And so the time came when I was to be introduced, the teacher started "we have a new student from overseas here with us today, his name is Peter Stone." And as the tradition goes, I bowed my head and said "nice to meet you! I look forward to working with all of you!"...............Awkward silence. But then again, I had experienced many awkward silences way worse than this one, and so I ignored it, and then after a good whole minute, the teacher said "you can find your seat there Peter" and then she pointed out to a free table and chair at the corner back of the class, near the window, and so I made my way to the desk but I didn't even take five steps when I tripped on something and fell, the whole class burst into laughter, and I glanced to quickly look at what I tripped on, and I looked just in time to see a leg quickly falling back into place under a student's desk, it was a prank, and I was, surprised to be honest but I just brushed it off as a simple joke, kinda like an initiation to the classroom, so I laughed along with them, and forgetting all about that incident, I continued with my day, the teachers were alright, it was a bit hard for me to keep up with the others since it was my first time learning in Japanese, but I wasn't horrible, I was able to get used to learning pretty quick, since I liked the language, I was pretty eager to get used to it as fast as I could. The bells rang for the interval and I made my way to the canteen, I trained eating with chopsticks for an entire week, and I finally got the hang of eating without throwing food all over the room.as I was walking to the canteen, someone ran past me while punching my back and knocking me on to the ground, and that hurt quite a lot since the punch had landed directly onto my spine. And I looked up to see it was the same kid who made me trip earlier. As he ran past me, he joined a group of boys, and they were all laughing at my direction, so I turned around to see what they were laughing at, ignoring the fact that I was punched in the back, but there was nothing funny to laugh at, and then I looked back at the group of boys who were laughing, they were still looking at my direction, and then it hit me, they were laughing at me, "no wait, that's impossible, I'm supposed to be friends with everyone, I can't be getting bullied." But then I was, getting bullied, but then I was thinking," Everyone gets bullied by a group of people, it doesn't mean that the entire class hates you right" but what happened next only worsened my thoughts, one of the boys yelled "hey guys look! Takeshi punched the English dude!" and then everyone from not only my class, almost all the classes came out of their classrooms and burst into laughter, and this was no situation where the people laugh with you and not at you, they were laughing their heads off at me, and I just got up, looked at the ground and kept walking amidst all that laughter, and then this Takeshi person shouted "oh look! He's going home to cry to his mommy!" and the laughter intensified, I held back gallons of tears because although I was scared to death of bullying, I never experienced it, and it was worse than I thought it was, I got home that day, locked myself in my room, and cried into my pillow, the whole day, the whole night, that day, my dignity isn't the only thing that broke, my dreams, my hopes, my expectations, everything, gone, just like that, I never thought I'd be a laughing stock in my new school, but then apparently, I was, I was pleading for dear life to be honest I was saying things like "please, don't let it be this way" and (as cliché as it was) "where's my happy ending?" hoping that someone, someone, would hear them, but the truth is, nobody heard them, nobody heard the helpless cries of a little boy who's facing a problem most would consider as 'usual' or 'childish' but to him, to me, it was all new, because I lived in a fairy tale of a childhood, free of bullying and anything of that sort, and this experience was traumatizing for me, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forget it, guess the world just can't guarantee you happiness."

That is what happened in my childhood that changed my life, over the years, I've learned to live with the bullying, all the name calling, harassment, humiliation, hurt and all that.

"I'm home mom!" I say as I arrive at my house.

What I realized, that the world can't guarantee you happiness is what I have lived by all these years.

"The food is in the fridge son, eat whenever you're hungry."

"Thanks mom."

Anyone who thinks they're happy, is in for a really rude awakening, and mine couldn't have been more rude, well, it isn't the best but, this is my life and I've learnt to live whilst hating who I am, after all, Happiness doesn't exist.