Cancer Was killing Me Well He Was Saving Me

One Foot Already Out The Door As My Grandfather Always Said

One Foot Out The Door My Grandfather Always Said. As a matter of fact that's how I entered my preteen and teenage years. With one Foot Out the door but the crappy part for me is on the other side of that door was a grave just my size. But I try not to think about it to much on the bright side. When I do die I won't be in pain anymore and I'll get to see gramps again.

Gran die two years before my diagnosis I was only 10 but gran was amazing. But  gramps was my best friend he always made things better. He was my rock when I got diagnosed he never let me forget how much I had to live for. Gramps passed away 8 mouths ago. That's when things kind took a turn for the worst.  After gramps passed I got worst kinda just stopped trying. But I was released from the hospital 2 mouths ago. I'm still in cemo therapy just like the last 5 years.

My brothers act normal around me to try and make it better. Witch i love because no one dose that anymore like they all know I'm gonna die. My sisters just well are crazy and over whelm me like whit I love you's and everything's gonna be OKs .  But that's about the time I just go to my art studio and lock the door and play some Beatles music that always helps me .

There's only two things iv ever loved that I was good at and that's art and weighting. I can sing and stuff but its hard when you lose your breath so easily. That's what happens when you have lungs that suck at being lungs in the words of Hazel from my fav book " The Fault In Our Stars "  but the sad thing I'll probably never find my Augustus Waters.  But I only say the because the doctors don't think I hear them but I don't have much longer.  But that's the life of me Nalla Safera McManus.

" Squirt its time to go we are gonna be late if we don't leave now"  Yelled my amazing big brother Conner.

" Coming " I shot back as a grab my bag and tank and headed out the door.

Sitting in the waiting room of clinic is always so depressing it smells to clean and people look so sad some people crying over lost loved ones.

Sitting in the hard leather chair listening to my favorite play list and reading a story on wattpad. When I felt pair of eyes on me. I slowly look up to see a god like boy looking at me.

He had the clearest blue eyes with shaggy black hair with a toned body. He smiles at me I give a small smile back. He shakes his hair out of his eyes. I look around not seeing anyone around so he must be looking at me.

Finally the nurse calls my name and back I go.