𝙒𝙃𝙄𝙏𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙎𝙀𝙎 // 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀

f o u r

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"Sometimes, when chaos burns like wildfires all around us: we have no choice but to fall in love with the warmth"
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Finns pov.

I've been here a week. A whole week. And I've only spoken to 3 people. My nurse, my second nurse and a girl down the hall. I've been on bed rest most of the time and it's getting boring.

I only had 1 conversation with the girl. I don't remember getting her name. I haven't seen anyone else around my age here so I got a little hope when I saw her.

I look at my wrist, tugging at the red band I had on. I got it from the hospital, I believe it's because I'm "really" sick or something. I had a kidney failure and now it's like I'm nothing else than that to my parents. That's why my family haven't visited me yet. I told them not to. I said to them that once they can look at me fully and not feel bad for me then they can visit as much as they'd like.

I've got to admit it's very lonely in here. There's not really anything fun to do in a hospital and I don't really have any friends in this state. Don't get me wrong I do have friends but I'm not originally from the U.S.

I'm actually from Canada.

All my friends are still in Canada.

I miss them, I guess. I thought I would miss them more but I guess not.
The only "hard" thing I had to do before leaving was say goodbye to my girlfriend, Iris. We weren't totally in love but I really liked her and it was hard to say goodbye. I decided that it would be best for her if we broke up since I moved to get my treatment a better place and I didn't even know if I would make it. Figured it would be easier if we weren't together. It really took a tool on her you know? All my medical appointments, all my bad days. I didn't think it was fair.

But that's back in Canada. I have to focus on where I'm right now. I made a pact to myself to live life minute by minute and I don't plan on breaking that.

I look over to the corner and fixated on my guitar. I really miss playing. I look around trying to find the button to call my doctor and finally press it.

Seconds pass and my doctor runs in, totally out of breath.

"What? What's wrong?!"

"Nothing" I chuckle "can you get my guitar? I would really love to play"

"That button is only for emergencies Finn!" She says annoyed as she walks over and picks up my guitar.

"Oops" I say as she hands me my guitar.

"Thank you!" I say after her as she exits my room.

I haven't decorated anything yet. Why decorate a place you're not gonna be for a long time right?

I start strumming on my guitar singing one of my own songs

Going to Seattle on the Greyhound
I missed school for this
Bought two tickets last September
Before your harmful bliss

I missed this feeling and I miss my band.

As I quietly sang the rest of the song I could feel a single tear drop fall down my cheek, making its way down to the corner of my mouth, letting me taste the saltiness.

I wiped it away quickly and almost threw my guitar to the side making my way out of my room.

I walk, almost run, to the rooftop slamming hoping no one will stop me. I slam the door behind me and walk over to the edge looking out. I take a couple of deep breaths letting the cool air enter my nostrils.
I look around and spot the girl from before.
She lit a cigarette with bundles of tears racing down her cheeks, and after her lips somehow found the strength to stretch into a smile, I thought to myself. How could she have this much pain in that small body?

I try to redirect my focus to the view just waiting for her to say something

"Not thinking about jumping are you?" I turn around looking directly to her face. It's a little less puffy now, still red though

"No" I say rolling my eyes grinning lightly

"I wouldn't blame you" she scoffs "it's fucking boring here"

"Why would you say that?" I ask

"Because it's true"

Well that helps

"Why are you here? I'm guessing it wasn't your choice" she asks

"Yeah, definitely not my choice. I'm from Canada and my mom made us move here because she thinks they have better hospitals."

"Cool" she said blankly.

"Cool" I said back. I cringed, wanting to actually jump now

She just laughed.

"Well I'm Millie, you'll probably hear a lot about me here" she says

"I'm practically a celebrity here" she whispers to me laughing after her sentence

" Finn" I say

"I know"

She's been asking about me?

Sorry it took so long for me to update!
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