Her House, My Rules

Chapter 41

Save water.

Famous sexual words.

Her soft tongue was already moving inside my mouth like dessert. The freedom of our lips was the best gravity from Heaven itself. I was enjoying her saliva and I didn't want this moment to end. I wanted her near me, I wanted her skin between my wet fingers, I wanted her body on mine under the warm water. I wanted her all to myself. I didn't want her to ruin our great shower and our gentle kisses. I wanted to keep going but she was too scared to admit that she was craving me secretly. 

Sex was out of the list. Her mind was dark and selfish.

"I'm..." She stopped kissing me. "I'm... I'm done." She wasn't ready to give in. Her body was still hiding under the devil's tomb. "I don't think I'm ready to make love to a stranger yet." She grabbed the towel on top of the shower curtain rod, enveloped it around her wet body and made her way outside.

"Hazel, wait." I grabbed a clean towel from the little cabinet as I ran after her. "Can we talk about it?" I entered the bedroom as she enveloped herself under the covers. "Why do you keep acting like you don't want me when you know you do?" My question tortured her mind with infinite regret. "Why?" Her face situated on the other side of the bed, she was trying her best to avoid eye contact.

"I'm not in the mood to talk right now." She replied, gently. "I want to be alone, please." Her voice was sincere and firm. "Can we talk about us another time?"

"Are you feeling okay?" I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at her back. "What's wrong? Did I say something bad?" I was worried about her health. Her mood swings were confusing me. 

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. I just want to sleep in peace." Her words flashed my mind with a question mark. "Please, leave."

"Fine." I agreed. "I'll let you sleep but promise me that you'll take care of yourself when I'm not around."

"I want to be alone," Hazel replied with a cold answer. "Leave." She didn't want me to be around her anymore.

"Hazel," I stated. "I don't know how to communicate with you anymore. I understand that you don't want me to get close to you but it's hard to have a good time with you. You get mad for little things, you're pushing me away without giving me any good reasons, you're trying to close your door. It's like you're pushing yourself to forget me. You don't want to remember me." I sighed, nervously. "Do you?"

"I don't." She turned herself in my direction. "I just want you to live your life and have fun. Why do you want to be with me when there are plenty of girls out there?" She requested my space. "Why me? To be honest, I just need space."

"Word?" I questioned her sentences. "That's how you feel?" She was beyond serious. She wanted space and her words were loud and clear. "If you want me to stay away from you, I'll do that. I'm not going to force you to be with me or be nice to me. I'll respect your limits." I stood up, grabbed my phone on the little table and exited the room.

I tried. I tried, Hazel. I tried to be closer to you, I tried to show you how important you were in my life but you make things so hard. I tried to let you in, I tried to prove my love towards you but it was useless. You don't care about me. You lost your memories and I understand that but you chose to be like this. You chose to make my life impossible and stressful. You chose to make me suffer.

I deserve better than your petty self.

I deserve a better girl. I deserve someone who understands me and someone who's not going to get mad at anything. Someone who can show me that she cares about me and loves me with all her heart. Someone who's not going to lead me on and leave me in the dark. I want a better light for my future. A better girlfriend. A better wife. A better relationship.