On My Own [OctoberJay (THE ACCOUNT) Origin]

~1~

I've always been seen as a "good girl". Never sad. Always happy and smiling. But I'm not. Life caught up to me one day. That day, I realized just how cruel the world is to kind people.

It was fourth grade. I knew that kind people were very rare. I always thought being unique was good. I met a girl who was new to the school that year. We hung out and we became friends. We'll call her PJ. PJ was kind and funny. We had a lot in common. She liked what I liked and it was fun. I introduced her to my sister and her friends and we became a group.

Only minutes before I met PJ I lost my best friend to the popular people. She had been my best friend since 2nd grade and I lost her. PJ helped me get over her. I'm still grateful.

It was about that time when my older sister discovered a website called Wattpad. She made an account and she would read us a story from it every night.

Back to me and PJ. We became the best of friends. Since she was new, she wasn't very well liked. That's part of the reason I became her friend. For most of fourth grade, it was me, my sister, PJ, my sister's best friend (we'll call her V), and my other friend who we will call Pen against the rest of the fourth graders (except the smart kids).

The teachers never found out except that one time some kid, who we'll call JB (he's important), hit me.

JB was the leader of the pack. He was the main bully. He would slip notes into mine and PJ's desks while heading to his own. The one that I remember most vividly said, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE? NO ONE LIKES YOU! THEY JUST PRETEND TO!!!" in orange marker. I've never told anyone about it until now.

Later that school year, V stopped talking to us. She started hanging out with JB. My sister still blames me. That's when I started hearing the voices in my head.

"You destroyed their friendship."
"Monster."
"Murderer."
"He was right. No one likes you."

I ignored them for forever. I was still my happy self. I wanted to stay that way. Look where that brought me.

Around that time, I made my first Wattpad account. Erzapotato was where I could be me but not me. No one  would know the pain I caused or felt. They would know me as a shipper and a fangirl. And that they didn't know a thing.

I had a lot more free time back then so I wrote a few stories. One of them was called "Kaiesa Jay". That was my first "Jay".

That all changed when I forgot my password. I lost my account. Never again would anyone hear from Teisa. It was in 5th grade.

I got a phone around that time. Immediately I got Wattpad and made a new account. One where I could be Tiesa again. I called it "OctoberJay".