Anica's Love

AL#2

Anica Grace

I feel tipsy.
Tipsy tipsy tipsy.

Ah. So tipsy.

Pang ilang araw ko na ba to ng inom?

Repeated routine every day.

School, uwi, bar

School, uwi, bar

Pambihira, iba din tama ng broken.

Akala ko noon, pag na broken ako, hindi ako hahantong sa point na ganto. Iinom.

Well? I don't smoke. I vape.
The difference?
Cigarette is harmful and has ugly smell.
While vape?
It has many different smell.
Different flavors. Sure it's harmful. But whatever.

I fished my vape inside my sling bag.

Checked if my vape's battery is still full. And yes. It is.

I sighed.

I wish I wasn't that broken.

Unconsciously, one time, I damn texted him to join me drink liquor. And that was the most stupid shit I did.

It's been five days since that faithful day that broke me and shattered my heart into pieces.

Sheesh.

"Bakit ba andito ka nanaman? Limang araw na simula nung mag inom ka dito sa bar eh nung tinanong ko naman yung si Charlotte, di niya daw alam na may problema ka. Kitty always shrug. "

Kuya Andy.
The oldest of the tropa told me. So yeah. Pinuntahan niya ako dito sa bar para sunduin ako at syempre? Para sermonan ako. Aaron and kuya Andy always do that. Salitan sila. Kaya araw araw sumasakit ang ulo ko dahil sa kanila.

"Nica?"

I shook my head.

"Let's go home"

"We are definitely going home Nica. Look at you. You are so damn wasted. Get a life."

I closed my eyes.

Inalalayan niya akong tumayo at lumakad papunta sa sa kotse niya. Lucky he has a car to drive. Perks of a twenty year old man. 

He started the engine and then drive.

"Know what Nica? You can tell us whatever your problems are. What are friends for right? Besides? You can't tell your boyfriend your problems right? He was busy flirting with some other women out there. How stupid and silly it was. After all he had intimate sht with a girl he just met. You should probably leave him. You deserve someone-"

"What kuya Andy? I deserve someone better? Someone worth it? Someone who is willing to give me time? Attention? Who will not break my trust? Fix me? Care for me? Love me? Kuya Andy. I am drunk but I am not that drunk to not hear what you're talking about. I am hurt. And yes. I am broken. I broke up with him and when you showed me the video. And proved me it was damn true, my world crumbled. My heart was shattered and all I can do now is cry. Pagod na pagod na akong umiyak kuya. Pagod na pagod na ako...... I thought I was strong. I thought I was mature. And there, just tada. I fell apart. "

I wiped every single tear that flows out from my eyes.

Kahit 5 days na mula nung mangyari yon masakit.... Sobrang sakit

"I'm sorry"
Mahinang bulong niya.

I tried to silently sob but to no avail.

He didn't talked until we reached home.

Inalalayan niya akong pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Lucky, wala ang parents ko. My father? Nasa abroad nag t trabaho. My mother? May field trip kasama mga estudyante niya and my three brothers? May kanya kanyang lakad.

"Kitty? Have you prepared her room?"

"Fvck you kuya Andy. I'm not a maid here so manang soleng made it for me. "

Napailing iling nalang si kuya Andy.

I went to the comfort room to puke my sht out.
My head feels so damn painful.

Alcohol after effects? Damn boy.

"My phone"
I demanded to Kitty.

Sabi ko kasi hawakan niya para diko mawala. Ayokong may nag t text sa akin habang nasa bar ako.

"Ate took it from me. She said she'll take care of it"

I just shrugged.

Pumunta na ako sa kama ko. Enduring the dizziness and head ache, I dived my bed and seconds later, I fell asleep 

The next day, I heard a loud bang from outside of my room. That woke me up.

Dali dali akong lumabas ng kwarto kahit hindi pa ako nakakapag bihis ng damit ko na suot suot ko mula kagabi.
At pagka labas na pagka labas ko ng kwarto, sigaw agad ng adoptive sister ko ang narinig ko. Kasama ang pinaka matanda sa tropa namin na si kuya Andy na pilit pinapa kalma si ate. Umagang unaga.... What is it now?

"Nica! Mag usap kayo ng gunggong mong jowa! Ayusin niyo yang gulo niyo! Kinausap ko na yan ng overnight. "

Somehow? I felt my heart flutter dahil sa sinabi ni ate. but at the same time? I felt stupid for feeling the shitty flutter. Ano? Matatanga nanaman ako? It took me six days to fix myself.
Or so?... I thought... Wait? Did he just called my ex "gunggong"?

"Thank you ate. "
I said with a straight face.

She handed me my phone and I  immediately looked at the messages.

Yeah? She tried to convince him.
I smiled bitterly.

So? It just need and overnight talk with ate para lang klaruhin na pag usapan ang nangyari? It's almost a week.
Wow. Congrats self. Good work on studying for him yet getting hurt by him

I went back inside my room. And I felt sleep pulled me again

I woke up again because of my phone's vibration.
Tuloy tuloy, ayaw tumigil.

Kaya napilitan akong tignan kung anong nangyayari sa cellphone ko

Nica can we talk?

I sighed. Sino ba to? Unregistered number.

Realization just hit me when I saw the past conversations...

My ex.

My great ex.

Anthony.

I immediately replied

Yeah

I closed my eyes.

I felt my heart beating fast.

Stupid heart. Why are you beating so fast? He shattered you.
Stop.

I felt my phone vibrate again,

I'm sorry please forgive me.

Emotions flowed.... I felt like I can't breath... Sht...