Him

8 2 0
                                    

To start, I'd like to say that I want this to be a font that is beautiful. So beautiful that as you read the words they'll stick to you. I chose this font for a reason. I want you to feel the power of these words. I'd like to begin by saying that you may be able to forget what someone said, but you will always remember how they made you feel. That's what all of the trouble is about now, trying to remember how you made me feel. You're someone so unforgettable that no words can begin to capture. For starters, you drove the car I dreamed about, a Honda Civic. I thought that was a good start, we had something alike. When I met you, you stole my heart...But what I've learned is that you desire female attention just as much as female interaction. All that I can express is that one day you're going to have to choose only ONE. You say that you're seeing what's out there, but you aren't ready to settle. You're exploring on the account of girls hearts. There is no cure to a broken heart. Shatter glass and then try to piece it perfectly together again. Please, choose one. I'm unsure of your motives, but you have a good game. You can make someone truly head over heels for you...just as I was. You casted me under your spell and I was your fairy. It was a fairytale for sure because life doesn't work that way. It was more like I was the puppet and you were the puppeteer or even better, I was a beautiful woman and you were just some guy. Yes, that's it. The story of "love". Hilarious. Look, I know how guys are. There is not enough blood to support their brain and their penis at the same time. Guys like you just want benefits. Well I'm sorry to say that I don't play that way. I desire love, not something temporary. But you had me wrapped around your finger for the longest time and then came back and tried starting it again. I took your apology with little words and your voice just pulled me under again yet again. You were the tide and I was a clam, you took me under. I won't say that I haven't missed you, because I have. But you are poison disguised as water. I've missed more the thought of you than actually you though. I know what you're all about, I've learned your tricks and mind games. You always have girls around and you try to put me to shame. If you want me, I told you that you can have me...but only me. You told me you weren't ready for a relationship. At first that wasn't clear and I didn't get it because your spell took me under, your kisses abducted me and your words locked me away. You had the keys. I fell for you. So hard. Then one day I fell on concrete. My heart shattered. How could you have done this to me after all I have done for you? This was something unable to repair. I was always there, we always talked, what more could you have wanted? I let the tears fall by the thousands wondering how I wasn't creating an ocean. From there I started my self repair journey. I got too attached, I don't know how to stop that. I don't belong to you nor you to me. But when you came back I welcomed you...until another girl came into the picture. She was so pretty too, but you had already tried to pick up where we had left off. Where you left me for this girl. You probably did the same thing and most likely more with her than you did with me. You went out with her. Even if she is just a friend as you say, how can I ever go back to what we had. You ruined it. You ruined me. I will continue to keep my heart locked away. I won't allow another to venture into my beautiful mind. You cut my soul. I can't stand anymore games or locks or cuts. Sure I said I'm unattracted to you, but what you were I can't forget. What we had wasn't real, but for me it was. Not for you. Not at all. The thought of you early on still makes my heart skip a beat. Some songs remind me of you, but all I can do is cry. It's funny how there is always a disguise. I will give it to you, you won...not this time though. I don't mean revenge, I just mean that there is no way you can come back. The door to my life is closed and my heart is hidden. You can't cause anymore pain. No revenge I could ever give to you would match the pain you caused me nor would I want that. You just took off, right out of my life. I had told you my past. I told you the stories and you became worse than them all. How could you? I still can't forget what we had, it does make me smile, but that wasn't you...that was him. Him, you know the guy you disguised yourself with. The one who took away all the pain, polluted my mind with beautiful thoughts so that you could take me over, the one who made me smile and laugh uncontrollably. He is gone. You heard what I had to say when you came back, but I had to remove you because I can't allow myself to be so vulnerable. Never again, I can't handle it. I know that your spell no longer works on me, but I could fall again easily if you use a different one. No more pollution. No more toying with my mind and telling me it could be what it was because no it can't. There are scars to show and pieces of my heart mended. It hurts me to say, but please stay away because you truly don't understand. 

Him.Where stories live. Discover now