enigma.

fourteen

"Why are you just now telling me?"Rene followed me around the house as I grabbed various things and put them in my suitcase.

"It was a last minute decision."I grabbed a few things out of my closet. "It's an MTV thing. The kids are going."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner so that I could come?"Rene asked with a puzzled facial expression. I wasn't arrogant enough to think that he would never catch on, but if I could just make it through this weekend, maybe I'd tell him. Bill and I needed a breakthrough. We needed to have that conversation about where our fling was going and if we'd continue it. I had started to feel differently about him. It started to become more than sex and that's not what was supposed to happen.

I sighed and looked at my clueless fiancé. "Baby, I told you they didn't send enough tickets. The event is going to have most of our attention. It doesn't make any sense in buying you a ticket if you're going to be there alone."

"Alright. Well, call me whenever you get to a phone, I guess."His tone shifted. I knew he felt a way. I knew he had gotten sad, but it wasn't about him right now. I was going to deal with that when I got back.

"See you Monday."I kissed him on the cheek and grabbed my suitcase. We were flying privately, but the kids were flying commercial. Bill had gotten them tickets to Spring Bling. I told them I wanted to give them a break. That was the only story they knew.

Instead of my usual driver, I hired a car service. I didn't need anybody talking to about how wrong this was. I knew.

The driver pulled up to the front of my home. He grabbed my suitcase and put it inside of the trunk. "Hello, Ms.Jackson."He tipped his hat and held the door open for me.

"Hi."I smiled as I climbed into the backseat. He was a funny looking driver. He didn't wear a suit. He looked like a cowboy, with the cutest little country accent.

"Are you okay? You seem like something is troubling you."He rolled the partition down and watched me through his rear view mirror.

The fact that he noticed scared me. I didn't know if I should lie or tell the truth.  "How do you know something is troubling me?"I raised an eyebrow.

"I can feel it. Your guilty conscience stared me in the face before you got in the car. I'm not here to judge you for whatever you're doing. I'll say this though, you're about to have a reason to stop it. Things will come to head. You will see."

He spoke to me like he knew me.

"I wanted to tell my fiancé, I wanted to say no when he asked me to marry him, but I felt bad."I sighed and looked down.

"You wanted to be with someone else, right?"He asked me.

"I did. I still do."

"I reckon that's who I'm taking you to Right now?"I saw him raise an eyebrow. "If you want to be with him, why aren't you?"

"We had a one night stand two years ago. It ended so abruptly that I never even got his name, but it was one of the best night if my life. We connected so well, I fell in love. So, once I never found him I found Rene. Then one day he shows up at my video shoot to interview me, now we are here."I explained to him.

"The two of you have to talk. You have to know how he really feels about you. Sometimes the grass isn't greener on the other side. Sometimes it is. You just have to figure out if you're going to the right pasture."

I took everything he said into consideration. I listened and tried to compare his advice to my situation.

"Ultimately, you will see who you're supposed to be with. God will show you."He braked and pulled up to the airport. "Have a good weekend Ms.Jackson."He tipped his hat again.

"Thank you."I smiled and grabbed my suitcase from him. I walked into the airport and followed a worker to our private plane. "Mr.Bellamy had to go ahead. He'll join you at the hotel."

I nodded my head to let her know I understood. I walked onto the plane and there was a bottle of champagne and a note.

I had to go ahead, but your girls are flying with you so wouldn't b alone. Meet me at the Hotel.

- B.

I quickly grabbed the note from bill and ripped up to throw it away. To their knowledge this was a trip from MTV. Bill even got me a performance. We could not get caught