You and me we made a vow
For better or for worse
Randy Orton and I (Brie Bella) have been married for two years now. I remember our vows and our promises we made at the altar. I would be there when he is sick or not. I'll be there.
I can't believe you let me down
But the proof is in the way it hurts
We are happy...... well I thought we were. I know every morning when he says he has to leave early for work and come back home late I know he is lying. I know he is cheating on me.
For months on end I've had my doubts
Denying every tear,
I wish that it could be over now
But I know I still need you here.
I try to tell myself that it isn't true, that the love marks he comes home with is just an allergic reaction as he says it is. I've tried to tell myself I am crying for nothing. But I know I'm not, I know he isn't faithful. Sometimes I just wish I can pack my stuff and leave. But I know I can't make it without him.
You say I'm crazy
'cause you don't think
I know what you've done
Every time I ask him a question it is always some beat around the bush crap! A time I simply asked if he is seeing a next person he called me crazy all day. I smiled to myself dying inside, I know you do babe. For god sakes of course I'll know! It has been going around our locker room for months now. Every time I ask him, I'm crazy or he has a match to get ready for.
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
It all became crystal clear when he stopped calling me, his one and only, his oxygen to just baby. That was when I was positive he was cheating on me.
I looked at my phone and saw a text from him
Hey baby, ummm Nicole wants to see you and I miss you.
The text wrote. I shook my head and replied with 'okay and we will go by her when he comes home. I laugh at the irony of my thoughts and the text. Next thing I know I was pelting my phone into our brick wall, watching it crash and break like me.
You've been so unavailable
Now sadly I know why
I've tried to prepare us nice meals and tried to book us vacations, but he is always so-air quotes- 'busy' and I know just why. I want the simple days back when we would laugh until we cry and my twin sister Nicole would come over and they will tease each other and laugh. But I guess happiness is not a forever thing, like I red in stories as a little girl.
Your heart is unobtainable
Do I really have his heart like he says? I laugh at that thought walking into the kitchen to put some food on. I mean if it was he would have left me and go with her. Or he would have stayed loyal to me. I made the food start while I moved back the vegetables to the bottom of my fridge. To the back of the veggies, I took out my hidden vodka and put back the vegetables and slam the door gulping down some of the drink, in attempts to ease the pain but it won't go.
Even though lord knows
You have mine
His might not be obtained by anyone but he sure has obtained mine. I slid down my fridge and just sat there drinking and crying. It is like I know he is drug and is bad for me but I can't let him go. I can't come to do the things he would. I don't even bother to look at anyone but him. Guess he can't do the same. I tied my chesnut colored hair into a ponytail. I may come off as happy and confident but I'm not.
I have loved you many years.
We have been together since I started WWE and that was seven years ago. We have been together for seven years, it was love at first sight.............at least on my behalf. I picked up a picture our first week of dating and Nikki my identical twin sister bodyguard us so we won't do anything wrong.
"Nicole! We are more than capable of handling ourselves!" I groaned at my sister who sat in the middle of us in the cinema. I heard Rko as they call him on tv laughed. "You don't mind her?" I ask leaning forward to see him. He shook his head and laugh "Course not Brie, I think this could be fun.'' He gave me an evil smirk and I smiled knowing we would try to ditch her.
"In here in here.'' Randy closed the door behind us, locking us in some cleaning room at the cinema. "Brie, Randall where are you two?!" we sniffled a laugh as Nicole stood outside calling for us. "You were right this is fun.'' I told him he nodded and leaned in and kissed me, our first kiss with each other. "Told ya,'' he said as we exited holding hands to find Nikki
I smiled at the memory. "I want those days back!!'' I yelled as I stretch my hand up on the counter raising up a bit from the floor to get the knife there.
Maybe I am just not enough.
I thought to myself looking at the knife in my hands, questioning myself. I would never kill myself, or not now at least. I consider cutting myself but with my sister and business I work in I won't be able to hide it.
I sighed and grab my hair. After giving him my all I'm still not enough and it seems like I will never be. He gave me half his all and it was more than enough to have me crying like I am. I screamed and throw the knife on the door. It land and stuck in the middle of it. I'm not enough but she is.
You made me realize my deepest fear
By lying and tear us up
Before never in my wildest dreams I would have dreamt he would have cheated on me. And that was when out of everything in the world, I realize my biggest fear wasn't, losing my job, spiders, lions or snakes. It was losing him. I laugh to myself for like the millionth time today. When I say laugh I don't mean happy and cheerful I mean bitter and humorlessly. Isn't it funny I realize my deepest fear by him lying and tearing us up? Well not literally.
I know I'm not the only one.
I cleaned up my mess and fixed myself removing the knife from the door. And the broken glass and whatever else mess I made. I set our table with food for the two of us. Not much since we are going by Nicole. I looked at the clock and saw eight o'clock. "By now he should be done having fun with his bitch.'' I said to myself. I was right cause I heard him entered in. I smiled and ran to greet him hugging him dearly, I missed him so much. I may know I'm not his one and only but I'm still the ONE he married.
(One shot! Boom done!)
