HOE: Over It

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     "Give me another one

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     "Give me another one."

     "Are you sure? You'll get drunk at this point," the bartender said, looking down at me with weary eyes.

The atmosphere is created by the bar, the avid customers, and the culture of their establishment. The bar is literally the magnificent stage upon which we press play and allow our lives to be broadcast in 4K HD, no shame, no care in the world. The bar soaks up the ambiance of this good night, from the ornamentation of the lazy spin of the fans to the recumbent light of eventide that will soon be starlit black.

The lightbulb hovered over my head, shining on me like the opening act of a play, shining onto the fact that I had a tough day. I needed another exorbitant drink, I was on my third one. I could feel a tingling sensation with every breath I think, my face was warm, and the tension picking in my brain slowly drives into clouds of thoughts, lost somewhere else.

     I needed to blow off some steam, I needed something. I needed a drink. "Just give me another one." She passed me down a drink, and I drank my heart's content. Working at the law firm today was stressful, but whenever was it never stressful?

     Sleepless nights, documentation after documentation, case after case. It's exhausting and could put me on the edge at times, but I loved it. The thrill excited and consumed me. I wouldn't say that my job was the perfect job, whatever that was. The only times I did hate my job was when it was unfair to those who weren't protected by the law and men loved to take control. Being the only woman to work at the law firm made me uneasy, but I kept it pushing.  I always kept it pushing.

     I had no choice but to kept it pushing. As I was drinking, I was deep in my thoughts, and I let them consume me. I had just broke it off with my fiancé, now ex-fiancé. Seven years of a relationship was down the drain. He said that I was too tense, that he didn't know me that well enough to marry me. It was like we were still on the first date. Love was depleted from emotional unavailability.

    He didn't make me want to be myself around him anyways. So, I had no choice  but to limit myself around him. I had the wildest imagination, fantasies some would call it. We were never on the same page, never met eye to eye. I rubbed my butt against the comfortable wooden stool, hoping that I could find comfort somewhere.

     I gulped down my beverage and rest my temples on my knuckles. I sighed as I was giving too much thought into it. One of my biggest problems, but also, one of my best qualities. And the bullshit that I went to today was the cherry on top. Sam was another attorney at my law firm. He, for the past few months months, has been pestering me about my job. I absolutely hated when people thought they could tell me how to do my job, especially when they're not my boss.

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 25 ⏰

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