Overthinking

Chapter 5

(Trigger warning - mentions of self-harm and suicide, do not read if triggered plz...I will restate what happens in less detail in the next chapter for those who choose not to read this one) 

I woke up alone in my room. It was dark so I assumed it was late at night but I couldn't care less. I laid on the floor trying to catch my breath when my phone buzzed from my bed, but I couldn't bring myself to pick myself up.

It was only when the buzzing became annoying that I managed to peel myself from the ground. Groaning as I slid my feet across the floor, I slowly made my way across the room.

I picked up my phone and immediately squinted at the screen due to the brightness. After my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I rolled my eyes at the spam of messages from an unknown number. I put in my passcode and started scrolling through the endless messages

Unknown: Hey

Unknown: Hello?

Unknown: HEYOOOOOOO

Unknown: U know until you reply I'm going to keep texting

Unknown: Okay now I'm bored, plz reply

Lyla: What the fuck do you want?

Lyla: Also who are you?

Unknown: Oh right, I forgot about that

Unknown: It's Leah :-)

Lyla: How did you even get my number?

Unknown: Not important

Lyla: Okay....what the fuck do you want then?

Change username to 'Leah'

Yes | No

Leah: Oh right!

Leah: I wanted to know your name!

Lyla: Why?

Leah: Is all you ask questions?

Leah: But because you never told me, so I've just been making up names

Lyla: Well then I guess you'll have to continue cause I'm not telling you

Leah: Fine....

(read at 8:04pm)

Leah: Where'd you go?

Leah: HELLOOOOO

(read at 8:20)

Lyla: Oh my god, what do you want?!

Leah: how are you?

Lyla: It feels like I'm at the beach in the water and the waves are constantly pulling me out into the sea, but every time I think I'm about to die from being under the waves too long, my head pops up for a breath of fresh air and I feel free and happy, but then I get hit by a bigger wave and I get stuck under longer. It's an endless cycle and I can't get a deep enough breathe before I get pulled back under

(Message not sent)

Lyla: I'm fine...

Lyla: Goodnight

Before she could respond I turned off my phone and walked towards the bathroom. At that moment the only thing I felt was emptiness. Not even when I pressed the blade into my wrist, not even when the water in the sink started to change color from the red liquid slipping out of my arm like a waterfall.

All I felt was emptiness, which seems to be a constant feeling lately...

--

I woke up the next day on the bathroom floor. I felt a hint of pain coming from my wrist, and when I looked down I saw the dried pools of blood surrounding the fresh cuts.

I snapped out of whatever daydream I was in when there was a knock at the door. I heard Ms. Grey's voice from out the door telling me that I had about five minutes before I had to be out the door and at school.

Sluggishly I pulled myself up from the bathroom floor and went to take a shower. The water stung against my cuts but it was nothing compared to the pain I felt inside every day. Once I was done, I stopped at the mirror to look at my reflection, but the only thing that I saw was a hollow shell of the person I once was. If you were to ask me how it got to this point, I wouldn't be able to tell you because even I didn't understand.

I had never been truly happy, but it seemed like as of late, the darkness kept getting harder and harder to run away from.

Or maybe it was the fact that I am slowly giving up.

I quickly wrapped my arm in bandages and got dressed in a light sweater and black jeans. It was hot outside, but I wasn't going to change the way I dressed just because the weather was.

I walked out of the house and noticed someone standing outside the gate. Not really caring about who it was, I made my way to the gate. As I was going pass the person, they grabbed my arm,

"What the fuck man?" I questioned as I tried to yank my arm back, but the persons grip only tightened.

"You little bitch, you thought you could get away?" The man said.

"Get away from what? Who are you?" I asked again, feeling the fear going up my spine

"I'm the one who rid the world of those disgusting humans," the man sneered as I stopped struggling, staring at him in shock. Noticing this he took the opportunity to pull me closer and whispered in my ear, "and it's about time I get rid of you too."

I was frozen in shock that I didn't see the knife that he pulled out of his, nor did I notice the way it slowly was raising towards my neck.

I closed my eyes once I noticed the silver glow of the neck inches away from my neck, waiting for the silver blade to glide across my neck as it had many times before on my wrists.

But the feeling never came, instead, I felt him loosen his grip. It was then that I heard yelling from the distance.

Before I could process anything, I was thrown to the ground and the man who once held me was now making a break for it down the street.

I looked up when I heard footsteps coming towards me, thinking it was the man coming back to finish his job, but instead, I came face to face with Lyla.

"Are you okay?" She asked as her eyes shone with concern. I didn't know how to answer the question so I answered with another question.

"Would you be okay if you just found the man who murdered your family?"