Hidden Letters

Original Letter

*This is an original letter I wrote to someone that I never met in person . Although I have never met them, I know that they went through a rough time in life. I heard part of their story and that was enough to know that they needed help. I have lost contact with this person and I don't know if they are still fighting to get through everything...It's a horrible feeling not  knowing, but I hope they are okay...I never got the chance to sent them this letter. I keep this in a box of letters that I have, I wish I had the chance to sent them this but like I said before I lost contact. This is an original letter, meaning I have wrote letters that are similer to this one to help others or to let them know I understand...since this is an original letter there will be some parts that won't make sense or misspelled words. It starts off kinda weird. One more thing, please no negative comments. 

This is awkward...to write to you when I never met you...but you should know that I care because I know... Maybe you think I don't, but I know the feeling..the urge..the rush! I know it's poinless to tell you it's wrong, cause you already know that. I know that in the "moment"  everything disappears and the only things you seem to hear are the bad comments thrown at you from every angle...past memories haunt you all the time..regrets follow your every step. You try so hard to find the "good" side of things but instead you see yourself locked up in your own dark world..Trying to hold everything in like it doesn't matter! Walking around with a broken smile, like it even matters, they don't seem to care anyway......waiting with shaking hands and endless thoughts..here comes the old normal sting! Keeping your eyes closed shut as salty water runs down your cheeks..until you feel the warm stream! After a few marks..no longer can you feel the pain inside you. You feel accomplished with your "art work"  but it's never enough to get rid of the awful feeling. Starving until the day ends and liking the feeling of your tummy asking for food. Satisfied with how long it's been, weighing less each day. Sleepless nights with painful screams! Endless days with more reason to leave this world! The feeling of being alone. Being alone, while walking around people who are happy..jealousy creeping within you..wishing you were happy. Only for a moment, you Are happy but as soon as it comes, you wonder why and then think of all the bad. You're no longer happy but confused about how you feel. It's okay to feel confused..it's part of life. Life isn't fair but no one said it would be easy. You have to remind yourself that that it's only going to get harder but guess what? YOU'RE STILL HERE! because you know deep inside that it's not worth it! You will keep fighting and You will never let them win! Don't let them get to you! I know it's tough to wake up the next day, knowing what you'll have to go through...never wanting to wake up, just so that you won't have to go through the day and having to deal with everything. All these things slowly building up inside you, ready to blow up at any moment!   Ignoring the fact that there are people who care about you, but still marking the the bleeding scar, emptying your stomach..waiting for it to stop hurting! But it never stops..it just keeps going. You should know YOU ARE STRONG!!! For many years with endless thoughts and waiting to slip away, YOU MANAGED TO STAY!! You're fighting this bloody battle called life. You will get stronger each day!! You will win! You Are winning!! You will move on!! Even if you don't see/believe it!! I'm not telling you to stop, I know you won't..maybe for a while you will but the red mark stays in it's place. The only way to get rid of your emotional pain is by creating physical pain..that way you won't feel the pain inside but the actual physical pain. It's an addiction to harm yourself. Don't go too deep when you slice your wrist!! I don't judge you for doing what you do..I know it's a way to help you forget or make you feel better. I haven't met you and I know little about you but like I said I know how feels to feel alone..having to deal with assholes in this world that judge you all the time without knowing what goes through your mind without knowing your story and having to walk around pretending like you don't care but in reality you do and it hurts!  but they won't understand so theres no point in trying to explain it, keeping your mouth shut and only speaking fo a while so that "they" (friends and family) won't ask questions..hiding and pushing away the people who care about you but not knowing why. Please Take Care Of Yourself and know that people really do care about you! 

Take Care,

EndlessThought97

* I didn't expect it to be so long, on paper it's not that long...This letter reapeats some stuff a lot so sorry about that.The video on the side reminded me of this letter.