Vagina Neck

Like Elmo, I Throw My Hands Up...

"I am seriously Wishing you could understand past partisan politics, Pops...", Susanna whispered into the air around her father's sleeping head. "He's an ass and you are too. Difference is, I Love your dumbass self! Fuck! You know, Dad? Shit, I'm so fucking glad you can't hear me!!"

That sleeping Roland Creech shifted and sighed in his sleep, and I jumped nearly a foot into the rafters in the garage! "Fucksake you old curmudgeon! Don't you go wakin' up on me while I'm taking shit about your lover man! Jesus Mary and Joseph! That's the last thing I need!"

"What's the last thing you need, daughter?"
It was me Ma calling thru the open kitchen door. "Nuttin' Ma!"  Then I thought twice because I knew, well, instantly realized that that answer would have her stumblin' out to pursue the question further. "That Da hear me using the Lord's name in vain, Ma!"

That did it. "Oh girlie, truer words were never spoke. Your Pa woke to that he'd me lighting up the whole house with hellfire and damnation. Smart girl." And she wiped her hands on her apron and returned to the kitchen.

"Whatcha doin' in there anyway, Ma?", I shouted in. "Soda bread, daughter 'o mine!" Came back her sing-song voice. All was right in the world again.

"Darn idjut, ye are, gurl!" I whispered at myself under my breath, lightin' up my cigar again.

"Who's callin' my gurl an idjut, there?!" Pa was awake again.

"She be, Da."

"I'll not have that! Stop it at once, daughter! You'll not talk to my bonny gurl that way!"

"Yes sir, Pa."

"Yes sir, what, daughter?"

"Yes, sir! I'll not talk to your bonny gurl that way!"

- "Sir!" I added as he opened his mouth to insist I do just that.