Gone // Nct [Book 2 of letters]

six.

how would you get over someone's death?

how do you live knowing that person is gone forever?

how does it feel without your loved one?

for the past hour or so these were the only questions swirling around in yuta's mind, can you blame him?

the boy could go on and on about how his world is completely destroyed. each day gets tougher and tougher without sicheng, it's like losing your favorite toy but only it never comes back...ever.

so many hours have past by to which yuta felt numb at this point. he understands there's nothing he can do but he wishes, oh how he wishes there was a way he could go back in time and force himself to be closer towards the other.

unfortunately it was too late.

before he could head back into his thoughts a light knock was heard, "yuta...you can't stay in your room forever, we still have that group meeting." the voice belonged to taeyong.

ever since yuta locked himself in his room taeyong was the only one who came by to either talk, check in with him or give him their schedule. either way, the boy wanted nothing to do with anyone at this moment.

did i mention that yuta is harming himself? no? well, he is. and it's bad....VERY bad. that's part of the reason why he won't see anyone. there's so much going on in his life right now that he doesn't need supervision from no one.

truth be told, it's a blessing the boy hasn't given up. i know how that sounds but only yuta and sicheng knew their chemistry, it was something only kept between them two and having to accept the fact that they will never be together.....hurts.

there's only a matter of time until yuta begins to feel like himself but now is not the time. you might think he's being silly about moping over sicheng's death but it just hurts so god damn much. every picture he sees of the boy his heart feels like it's being ripped out and stomped on.

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whenever yuta starts beginning to feel some type of happiness it always fades. 'one day at a time' is a saying the boy tells himself, it's easier said than done but the saying kinda helps.

"yuta would you like to come eat with me?" a faint voice questioned. before getting up to see who it was, yuta sat there debating whether or not if he wanted to go.

'maybe going out will help clear my head' the boy thought, thinking about how seeing a different scenery would be nice. "i-it's okay if not, i get it if you don't want to" the voice softly spoke. yuta quickly threw on a sweater grabbing everything he needed before opening the door to see....chenle.

seeing the younger fiddling with his sweater paws made a huge smile plaster on the other's face. chenle and yuta aren't super close but getting to know the chinese more will be fun.

"of course i'll eat with you, thank you for inviting me." hearing yuta speak startled chenle, causing his body to jolt up. the other quietly chuckled before putting his arm around the younger's nape.

it was a silent but peaceful walk to the food court, watching the trees sway back & forth from the wind, people walking with their family, cars driving to & there, feeling the breeze brush against their faces. yeah, it was a beautiful feeling.

chenle was quite nervous, the whole time they've been walking he's thinking of conversation starters without bringing up sicheng, today was the first time yuta has ever left his room and he wanted to make sure it was worth the older's while.

"so-" "do you wanna get ice cream instead?" without giving it a second thought, the two raced to a small ice cream parlor smiling & giggling like 3 year olds.

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once they got their ice cream there was a two seater table under the trees to which they gladly took. the day was so beautiful, yuta's so glad he took up chenle's offer, both of them have so much in common it's crazy. after so many tries from other members to get the boy out of his dorm never succeeded but with chenle, it was an easy yes.

maybe it's because chenle reminded him of a special someone...

chenle noticed the silence was turning into an awkward silence so he started up a conversation about anything really. "i heard that you're not a fan of the group meeting, if you don't me asking, why is that?" yuta was hesitant about answering but simply answered, "i don't know really" "is it because this never happened when..." the younger paused for a second before continuing, "sicheng was alive?"

no response.

chenle was right, he didn't understand why there weren't any meetings before but since something happened, they feel like now is the time to check in with one another?

"l-listen, i'm sorry. i shouldn't have brought up such a questi-" "it's fine, there's going to be much more conversations about him later on." sighing, chenle stood up placing himself next to the other embracing him into a tight hug.

'don't cry...' yuta mentally shouted at himself, fighting back every tear that threatened to spill. there was no use in trying to hold back his sadness but he never cries in front of people younger than him, it makes the boy seem weak and unstable.

"you know, i miss him just as much as you do." chenle quietly said, sadly smiling. even though sicheng and him weren't close with each other, they had their own bond in a way. the younger knew yuta didn't like crying in front of others which is understandable but since he brought up the situation, he's going to make sure the older goes back to his room smiling.

"let's finish our ice cream and go shopping yeah?" going to the mall was always fun, especially if it's with a good friend and thankfully chenle can brighten yuta's day in a heartbeat.

pulling away from the hug, yuta softly smiled nodding at the others question. just by seeing him smile made chenle feel 100x better.

as they finished their ice cream, they headed towards the mall with their arms linked and smiles on their faces.

sicheng would of loved this..

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this chapter took forever to publish lol yikes
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i tried making this chapter somewhat happy for once but jsjdjd
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after the next chapter it's gonna be reAllY sAd):
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see y'all in the next chapter<3