The Alpha and Her Rogue

|27| Heartbreak

We finally learn something we've been eager to know in this chapter...

Jaxyl

It's been one week and Darius is still gone.

Lately, I've been more and more stressed. I'm worrying about him, Naya, and the trackers I sent after them. I'm worried about their safety and how this whole ordeal may affect the pack.

The only thing keeping me sane is the comfort of my boyfriend and my son. I've yet to figure out a way to get him here without anyone detecting he's mine. I feel terrible about how I've lied to everyone about him and even worse when I think about what kind of mother I'm being.

How do I make up for it? How would I go about it? Just bring him to everyone's doorstep saying, "Hey, I lied to everyone and actually went to obedient school so I could keep my pregnancy a secret, but here's my son."

That wouldn't go over well. Although I'm alpha, I still care about how my family and friends would feel, and how my pack members would perceive me.

I feel as if I'm screwing up as Alpha already.

"Whatever you're thinking about, stop." Adarian sat next to me, taking me out of my daze.

"I can't."

"Still worrying yourself to death?" he questions. I nod, releasing a heavy breath.

"Am I doing bad?" I ask. "As an alpha."

"No," he answers immediately. "Every alpha faces challenges whether they've just got on the scene or have been alpha for years. It's not about the situation, it's how you choose to handle it. The decisions you've made were all in the best interest of your pack members."

"Honest?"

"That's my honest answer."

His encouraging words provided me little reassurance but it was enough to make me feel better and focus my attention elsewhere. He lazily threw his arm around me, hugging me to his side--kissing my forehead in the process.

It's small actions like this that make me fall deeper for him everyday. It didn't take me long to recognize the familiarity of those feelings either. They're the same feelings I felt when I fell hard and bumped my head on Bryce.

I don't know why I was so blind when it came to Bryce. Maybe it was excitement or infatuation with the fact that I'd met my mate and he was, at that time, everything I'd wanted and all mine.

In reality, he was never mine. He waited until the perfect time to turn on me. I now realize how naïve I was, but I can't blame myself. I was only fifteen when we'd met.

With Adarian, I'm experiencing an entire new meaning of happiness, respect, loyalty, and perhaps...love.

I glance at him with a shy smile. I have never given the L word  any thought until now.

"What?" he questions,

"Nothing."

I felt the urge to blurt out "love you" but I shook my head, snatching the remote from him and changing the TV channel.

Neither of us has said it before. I know he loves me, but is he in love with me? I don't want to make the same mistakes

"So you don't care about what I wanted to watch?"

"Please, the only time you're actually giving this thing some genuine attention is when an interesting movie is playing. You only sat here for my company."