TUESDAY 18TH OF FEBRUARY :
Hurry up ! Hurry up ! … Someone call the Guinness book ! I hold the official record of the number of panic attacks performed in one day ! That's not possible, it can't start again... Though, everything is here : the head spinning, the intense panic, the senses on alert for no reason... What time is it exactly ? 2:13 A.M. So i'm officially the only person awake of this house too. Anyway, no one can stop these attacks. Not even me . Except for Calum today... At the time, I felt so much better, it's strange. Maybe I could send him a message ? I don't know, it would be a bit weird, I mean, we didn't even saw each other this afternoon, in the end all I did was preparing for high school. What, by the way, kept me pretty busy. On the other hand when he gave me his number he told me not to hesitate... This being said I already made a fool of myself with my first panic attack, I don't see why it would be worst the second time. C'mon, courage.
CLARA : Hey ! I'm genuinely sorry to disturb you at this hour, you're probably sleeping anyway. Only, i'm in the middle of a panic attack (yes again). I'm worried about going back to school, getting lost in the buildings, not finding my classrooms and I'd like to know if it'd be possible to find a plan somewhere ?
Sent.
What a fool. Oh my god what did I do... It's too late anyway.
I throw my phone on my bed and get up to get water in the kitchen.
2:21 am :
I go back upstairs as discreetly as possible so I don't wake up anyone. My little trip to the kitchen have been useless, I'm still as anxious as before. I enter my room, gently closing the door. I suddenly notice a little glow in the dark. My phone. It's flickering.
1 message : Calum
CALUM : Hey :) No problem, i completely understand. I don't think there is any plans, but we can still go together if you want ? Well, if we have the same schedule because i think we have a lot of options tomorrow
Once again, he's a sweetheart. Really... I feel like I'm abusing that's awful... Well, I still have to answer him.
CLARA : Yeah i'd really love to ! What do you mean by options though ?
« I'd really love to ». « I'd really love to ». « I'd really love to »... Hello, welcome to the anonymous harassers company, how can I help you ? Gosh, it sounds so clingy...
CALUM : Gladly then :) Here, the Department of Education judge that « hobbies » help for our development and that it's as important as culture, that's why we have so much sports, art, music, drama,… I, for example, have my usual classes all morning, and 3 hours of football the afternoon
YAAAS HE PUT A SMILEY FACE ! That's a good sign !
CLARA : Usual classes all morning too, and 2 hours of art the afternoon. Damn, a footballer ?
That's crazy, I just noticed how much I focus more on the fact that he must think I'm stupid than on the conversation itself...
CALUM : We're together the morning then. Plus, we start with french, you should do well ! Btw would it disturb you to help me ? I have difficulties this year. Damn, an artist ?
CLARA : Oh no, they put me in a spanish class so I wont have an advantage over the others. I'd love to help you though. Call me Van Gogh, it should be enough ;)
CALUM : Ok we'll meet after then. Thanks a lot, that's adorable really ! Hahaha call me Messi in that case !
CLARA : No worries, can you just tell me where is the room E021 ? Adorable, says the one who calmed me twice in the same day when I was having panick attacks! Haha :)
Wait, I realise... I completely forgot about my attack. How did he do this? That's sick, almost impossible ?
CALUM : The room E021 is in the building E, at the ground level and for the number 21 you just have to look on the doors. I promise i haven't done nothing at all, and if I can ever do nothing at all again don't hesitate haha :)
CLARA : Thanks a lot ! For the room and your help ! Ok, I'll let you sleep, I don't want you to fall asleep on the field tomorrow, I'd feel guilty if the ball hit you in the face !
CALUM : Hahahaha not a chance, I'm Messi, remember ? Good night we meet up at 9 o'clock then, I'll wait for you in front of the E021 !:)
CLARA : Good night Calum, thanks a lot again !
CALUM : Go to sleep instead of thanking me, or you're the one who'll fall asleep on her easel!;)
CLARA : Hahaha ^_^
I set my phone down, peaceful and now in a good mood. Not only does he calm me down but he makes me laugh too. I go back to bed and turn the lights off, but the word keep floating everywhere in my bedroom, hung to the ceiling, flying above my messy desk, lightly stroking the walls, changing into a smile on my face.
My class only begins in 6 hours, but I already can't wait for it to be over. And it's not because I don't like spanish.
