Roman: When cats sleep all day, they're "cute".
Roman: But when I do it, I'm "clinically depressed" and "need to get help"
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Some bandits: We have your son
Virgil: I don't have a son
Bandits: Then who the hell is this kid sitting here asking to watch Disney movies?
Virgil: Oh my god they have Roman-
Patton: *Screams*
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Virgil: Logan, who is a grown man with a doctorate degree in genetics, just whispered "Oh this is gonna be so f♥️cking efficient" before spraying Febreze directly into the ceiling fan and then proceeding to cough his guts out when it blew back in his face
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Patton, to Logan: Your smile? It makes my day
Logan, to Patton: Your happiness? I live for that
Remy, to Deceit: Your laugh? It makes everything better
Roman and Virgil simultaneously walking into the room from two different doors: Hotel? Trivago
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Interviewer: Let's talk romance. Are there any ladies in the picture?
Roman, leaning forward seriously: Tell me every aspect of my personality that made you assume I was straight so that I can change it immediately
YOU ARE READING
Hey Masky Hey Masky Hey Masky
HumorBook of stuff that doesn't really matter but I like to pretend it does Also memes There's some memes
