All Things Must End (Dan and Phil Fanfiction)

Part 2 (Nellie)

Months went by after the accident. I'd been living with louise - she was a close friend of mine and Dan's and spoke words of unwanted pity. I didn't want her to tell me everything was going to be alright, I didn't want to everyone's "I'm sorry"s. I just wanted Dan back. I wanted to see his dimples. I wanted to hear him mumbling himself about the latest nintendo game. But there was nothing but silence.

I sat down at the table with my laptop, drumming my fingers on it's lid. I hadn't been on youtube or twitter since the accident - I couldn't bring myself to see photo's of us together on our shared twitter account knowing that the picture wasn't real, it was just a memory, no longer there. I couldn't look at what the phandom had written. It was too soon.

Darcy walked in with her frog wellies suffocated in mud, followed by Matt, Louise's husband , carrying bags of groceries. "Alright?" He asked , looking concerned . I felt like i was intruding their happy smiley lives. Matt started to pack the shopping away as Darcy asked him what they were having for tea. She was playing with sticks and seemed to be making mud-pies in the house. I'd always longed to have children. "I'm not sure sweetie, i think we'll have pizza tonight."

That's what sparked the warm tears rolling down my cheek. Dan had died getting me pizza - why couldn't i have just asked him to go get chinese which was on the other side of town? Darcy noticed me trying to hold back the tears, smiled and gave me some sort of stone cake. "Mm..thanks. Yum yum." I smiled gratefully at her friendly gesture. Why couldn't everyone be as understanding as four year olds? They know when to leave you alone and they know when they're needed. I was grateful to louise for giving me a roof over my head but knew it was putting strain on her and Matt's relationship. Louise walked in looking stressed out and threw her handbag on the table. "No Darcy, matt why are you letting her get mud everywhere!?" She looked at me and smiled.

"Are you okay Phil? Do you want me to make you some breakfast? It's a little late so let's call it brunch" she said with a wink. I look up at the clock and see its 11:25. "Thanks Louise but i'll do it. I appreciate the help though." I reply. I stand up and open for the fridge. reaching out for the milk but not retrieving anything with my hands. Louise watches me and notices there's no milk. "Seriously Matt? You forgot the milk! I thought I'd have a nice easy day and not have to go out again today! Sorry Phil. I'll nip out to the shops and get a carton for you." Feeling bad for Matt having to deal with a hormonal ship-wreck of a boy that is me, I offer to go get the milk. I put on a jacket which I soon realise was Dan's - half of the clothes in my wardrobe were Dan's. I walk out the door not bothering to say goodbye to the family. They were probably relieved that they got a break from me to be honest. As i walk along the path i feel the breeze of the wind, something Dan would never get to feel again. As i enter the shop i see my zombie-like reflection in the window and notice my hair has gone pear-shaped. The shop owner glances and gives me a nod. Not sure whether he was giving me a nod of pity or recognition i put the milk down on the checkout.