The love I had and didn't

Brothers & sister love

I'm laying in bed thinking about the past week and how life as change today is mine and Natalie's birthday and normally we would start our day off with breakfast and then go back to my place to watch our favourite kids movie and this year we are not I'm in bed drunk from the night before with dry tears on my face
G- it's my wife birthday
JJ- let Alan hear you saying that are better yet make Andy
G- fuck them both
JJ- and to answer your question no I haven't was going to do it now even though I don't know what I'm going to say to her
G- you know Natalie she will understand
JJ- but this is the first time spending our birthday apart
N- nope think again
JJ- what the hell are you doing here
N- did you really think I don't know my twin brother to know that it would be too hard for him to come back
JJ- I'm so sorry I know you must hate me too (sob)
N- what
G- he thinks you and Liam blame him for Liam being rape
N- what the fuck so all this time you were thinking like this what the fuck JJ no one blame you and Liam don't even look at it that way
L- I hurt you by sleeping with your girl
JJ- what liam what are you doing here
L- have miss enough of your birthday so not this one and plus this one miss her dada
S- data dada
JJ- omg you guys didn't
L- yes we did
JJ- please tell me mum and dad isn't here
N- hell no
JJ- oh thank God for that (lol)
L- we need to talk
N- I'll take sky and leave you two to it
We wait until Nat and sky leave the room
JJ/L- I'm so soy
JJ- you have nothing to be sorry for if anyone should apologise that's me Liam I bring her into our life and she rape you
L- JJ that wasn't your fault and can you lot stop using the word rape that shit happened it's over I never once look at it that way
JJ- I should have protected you I made a promise to you and Nat that no one will ever hurt you and I brought the person that hurt you in your life what kind of fuck up brother I'm I
L- stop it you are carrying on like you could see the future that shit is over now and we are moving on from it
JJ- I don't think I can
L- the problem is we saw too much growing up and you have to stop that way of thinking joshua you don't need a mum and dad to be a family and you are not weak to forgive someone are have someone forgive you
JJ- how can you love someone and hurt them and watch them pretend to be ok knowing deep down they can't be look at mum and dad
L- JJ stop it mum and dad are special cases you can't have them fuck you up more than they already have
N- I keep telling him that but he will never listen because he think he has to do better
JJ- I have to, where would you two be if it wasn't for me actually I can't say that anymore look what happened to Liam because of me
L- look where I am have got my own company because of you, who stayed up with me doing my homework who talk to my teachers when mum and dad was too busy who leave college to come home with me when I was failing all my class and stay home with me until I got back on track
N- we are the same age and because u skip a few years in school you end up being there for me as much as you did for Liam so stop blaming yourself and put the blame where he should be
N/L- our fuck up parents
All- lol
L- but for real bro you need a break all my life all you do is put everyone first you gave up Janet for sky and a lot of people may not get it but we do
JJ- and you know what knowing all I do now I wouldn't change a thing because that little girl needed me
N- so you would still give up Janet
JJ- yeah I would I know she would have said she was ok with it but we know Janet she would have turn out like mum and that's the last thing I wanted I see her forgiving a cheater look at mum and dad they love each other but at what cost dad miss out on years of our life and mum neglect us for months I couldn't do that to her not to someone as good as her
L- yeah I get it
N- so do you think if dad didn't cheat on mum she wouldn't have cheat on him
JJ- people don't want to admit it but we are programmed to hurt the ones that hurt us we don't do it subconsciously and I would like to think she is too sweet to turn into mum but I bet mum was sweet at one point
N- enough it our birthday what we doing
Gino Alan get your ass in here
G- what
N- what's happening tonight
A- clubbing
L- we have sky here
A- calling mum she can watch her
N- ok lets get ready I want a night to remember and forget
G- you can remember being in my bed tonight and forget about that boyfriend of yours
N- in your dreams lover boy
A- only bed she wanna be in is mine
JJ- you two need to stop talking that's my sister