Looking For Alaska-What Really Happened to Alaska

What Really Happened to Alaska

*WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED LOOKING FOR ALASKA*

When it comes to Alaska, there is one question the spins around and around in our heads: what happened to Alaska?

I mean, did she kill herself? Was she really THAT drunk? Did she fall asleep? What happened?

Well, my friend, it has been four years since Alaska has died and not a day goes by where images of her aren't filling my brain.

Not knowing what happened to her drives me mad, even though for the first year I made everyone-including myself- believe I didn't care anymore. I was almost to the point of insanity when my college roommate Bill walks in with some kind of object in his hands,

"If you put you're finger right here, it will start and you can contact anyone from the dead you want," he explains to me.

Of course I don't believe him at first, but once we start playing around with it I realize it's the real deal.

"Just say her name. I know you want to. It's okay to say it," The Colonial whispers from his chair in the corner.

Oh yeah, The Colonial moved in with Bill and me last month when his landlord kicked him out (we don't know why; he wouldn't say).

I take a deep breath. It's okay. I can do it.

"Can I speak to Alaska Young?" It's the hardest thing to say. I haven't spoken her name out loud in two years.

The words "you already are" flash across the screen.

"Prove it," I say, not really believing what is happening.

It takes a moment for the thing to respond, but when it does, I can't help but smile.

I'm sorry we never could continue.

My heart leaps. It's her. It's really her!

"Ask her something, Pudge!" Bill shouts.

This is it. This is what I've been waiting for.

I do it. I have no other choice. "Alaska, did you kill yourself?"

I can almost see her smile. I almost hear her hearty laugh that she used to do when we talked about death.

The screen blinks and I know she has replied. I cover my eyes, not bearing to see what horrible things it says.

Bill yanks my hand down. "Look you idiot!"

No. I was too fricking drunk to know to stop and I thought I could squeeze in between the truck and the cop car.

My heart lept for joy. She didn't try to kill herself!

The Colonial chimes in at that point. "Were you going to see your mom? Is that why you left in such a hurry? Because you forgot to bring her flowers that day?"

Colonel, always so smart. I miss that. Yes, I had to go give her flowers and weep about how sorry I was for not calling 911. But I'm with her now, so it's all good.

"Do you like it there?" I asked. I had to know if she was okay wherever she was at.

If words could smile, hers would have been grinning ear to ear. Yes. I've escaped the labyrinth of life and I'm with my mother again. In a way, I'm glad I died that day.

I almost ask her something else, but she tells us she has to go.

I need to know one more thing though because Bill says his little toy he borrowed from his friend Dean only works once.

"Alaska, before you go, tell me: Did you love me?"

Maybe. Maybe not. I'll guess you'll have to find out when you get here. Then the screen went black and I know she had gotten off of whatever this thing was.

I chuckled. Of course that's what Alaska would say.

At least death didn't change her too much.