felt like years already since I last wrote here
I was desperate then, hanging on to something that doesn't exist
something so unclear and yet so pretty for me
a world in which you loved me and now you don't
I'm proud to say that I'm over it now
I don't have any of those feelings anymore
I don't look for you left and right anymore
I completely forgot about your existence
it felt good, sorry to say
it really made my eyes wide when you suddenly reached out to me again
like you did last time
this time, though, I don't really have anything to be scared for
my heart is filled with someone else, I'm just curious of what you wanted to say about your silence
so I decided to hear you out
you told me your girlfriend became really jealous of me
told you to not contact me ever again
that explains why she blocked me
shame, I thought she was nice
after that you proceeded to talk shit about her
saying that she makes problems up and holds you for it
you said you wanted to break up with her, too
that's a really bold thing to say, you know?
no one goes out of their way to say that without meaning it.
so for you to say it and not do it afterwards for the reason that you're scared to be selfish?
I don't see why you need to say it then.
if that thought pops up, that should be a concern
yet to you, it doesn't seem like it
you said you wanted to continue with that girlfriend of yours because you think it's the same way as how your god sacrifices himself for his followers because of how much he loves them.
that's bonkers, I'd say, but I would never say that to you
that's your way of thinking and I respect your beliefs, but I don't think it takes a genius to see that what you two had is unhealthy
but I guess you knew what you are doing
(I assume you're mature enough to know)
so I told you to do whatever, and I'll just shut up and listen
after that, I thought that'd be it
but then you suddenly took interest on the fact that my heart belongs to someone now
I wonder why
you say that you're curious
but really, the way you're asking around is more like you're interviewing me
asking every little detail you could get about him
I played a game where I refused to tell you,
just like how you ghosted on me when you got that pissy princess girlfriend of yours
I'd say fair play
but I can't help but ask-
is it really curiosity?
or was it plain jealousy?
I'm gonna stick to curiousity.
that way I don't have to overthink about it and just move on with my life.
