30 Day Ship Challenge - Miritama - BNHA

31 - Waving Through A Window

I've learned to slam on the brake
Before I even turn the key
Before I make the mistake
Before I lead with the worst of me

Tamaki swallowed thickly, trying to keep his trembling to the absolute minimum.
Don't say anything but your name.
He fidgeted, his small pointy ears flattening out like a cat's would without him even trying.
“U-um...” he kept his eyes on his feet. “I-I'm.. A-Am.. A-ama..”
Why did he have to say his name? It was right there behind him, this is third grade, everyone here can read kanji.
Something about him. What could he say? He didn't like very many things, the ones he did like, other rpeiple probably wouldn't-
“I-I-um.. L-like.. H-he.. He..” he sniffled and stopped himself, tucking his tongue in his cheek and biting down to stop his tears.
He was allowed to his seat.

Give them no reason to stare
No slipping up if you slip away
So I got nothing to share
No, I got nothing to say

Tamaki felt eyes on him as he made his way to his seat, and he bit his lip.
Well, he almost did.
He knew that if he bit it too hard he'd bleed, and then he'd have to go to he nurse and everyone would be staring and asking why.
He put his backpack on the floor, rubbed his eyes again as he still felt eyes boring into the back of his head, and shakily tried to grab his sketchbook. He noticed that he couldn't stay still rather quickly and that his drawings would look much worse without stable hands, and so he opted to taking a small magazine his father'd given him about butterflies.
He had memorized the thing by now, he could recite it by heart, and even if he had said that he could get him as many of them as he'd like, Tamaki was just too afraid to ask.
He went over it anyway, reading and reading until he glanced upward.
Noone was looking at him — that he knew of, at least — but they were all in their little groups, chatting and laughing and playing.
He put his head down, playing over his favorite song in his head as he tried to distract himself from everyone. They probably noticed him, thought he was dumb... He'd never make any friends like this, everyone was gonna think he wasn't weird, but he couldn't do it, he just couldn't bring himself to stand and talk to someone.
Tamaki balled his little hands into fists at realizing his breathing had gotten faster, and was about to get mad at himself when he heard his name.
“Amajiki!”
But it wasn't a teacher, no, a kid.
Tamaki turned after wiping his eyes, and was met with blue eyes and put up blond hair.

Step out, step out of the sun
If you keep getting burned

Tamaki pursed his lips and looked around, realizing that he didn't have anyone to sit with at lunch.
Togata told him what table they were at. He remembered, yeah, but didn't want to go and find him.
He didn't have to walk and find him, and he knew that Togata'd be with people, so what was the point? He was gonna have to talk and someone might have to move so he could sit down, and they all already knew Togata.
Noone knew anything about Tamaki, and he'd just be awkwardly sitting there. Ignored. Judged.
He shuddered just thinking about it.
Oh god, what if he had to introduce himself to anyone there?
Tamaki didn't think any of them were bad people, far from it, he just didn't want to talk. He didn't know what to say, he never was good at introductions. Too much could go wrong.
What if he had an anxiety attack? Then everyone would think he was weird and the ones who didn't would wadte their time trying to make him feel better, and the ones that wouldn't would blame themselves and get sad and that wasn't what Tamaki wanted!
Jeeze, he couldn't make anyone happy, could he?
Except for Togata.. Some of the time. Tamaki still wondered about him. He didn't know how to feel.

Step out, step out of the sun
Because you've learned, because you've learned

Tamaki decided to just go up onto the roof.
No, he wasn't allowed up there, but there were a lot less people and no teachers really cared to stop you.
Plus, there was a nice breeze and a good time to do some people watching, maybe sketch something.
You might think he didn't eat that much, but you'd be wrong.
He had a rather big appetite and was always hungry, but he didn't get that much at home, so he made up for that with a big lunch.
Shame that he hated eating in front of people.
He took his seat, opening the bought lunch and starting to ear, glancing around every time he heard so much as the wind whistle for someone. He didn't want to have to interact.
This wasn't always a bad thing, though.
Today he found a butterfly zip right past his ear.