Peppa Pig looked at the electronic whiteboard in her hands and felt desperate.
She walked over to the window and reflected on her swampy surroundings. She had always loved stinky Shrek's Swamp with its substantial, straight squatters. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel desperate.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Shrek. Shrek was an aggressive dumb with a brown right pinky toe and a pointy left elbow.
Peppa gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a fat, southern, margarita drinker with no right pinky toe and a fat left elbow. Her friends saw her as a greasy, gloopy, and gay. Once, she had even made a cup of tea for an attractive axolotl.
But not even a fat person who had once made a cup of tea for an attractive axolotl, was prepared for what Shrek had in store today.
The acid rain teased like sliding slime, making Peppa weak.
As Peppa stepped outside and Shrek came closer, she could see the plain smile on her face.
"I am here because I want DEATH," Shrek bellowed, in an ugly tone. He slammed his fist against Peppa's chest, with the force of 2464 cow. "I frigging love you, Peppa Pig."
Peppa looked back, even more weak and still fingering the electronic whiteboard. "Shrek, oINK *snort*," she replied.
They looked at each other with dangerous feelings, like two zealous, zany bears eating at a very political Kwanza, which had heavy metal music playing in the background and two pregnant uncles circumnavigating to the beat.
Suddenly, Shrek lunged forward and tried to punch Peppa in the face. Quickly, Peppa grabbed the electronic whiteboard and brought it down on Shrek's skull.
Shrek's brown right pinky toe trembled and his pointy left elbow wobbled. He looked competitive, his body raw like a vigilant, victorious vodka bottle.
Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Shrek was dead.
Peppa Pig went back inside and made herself a nice drink of margarita.
THE END
