Behind Curtains

Kabanata 18

Kabanata 18

Dinner

I couldn't remember the exact time our family stopped hiring househelps. But I remember each and most of them getting caught red-handed, stealing, kaya napapa-alis. From my mother's jewelries, to our food supplies, down to most of our silverwares, talagang wala silang hindi pinapatos.

Kalaunan, at dahil nauubusan na nga kami ng mga gamit sa bahay, tumigil na kami sa pangunguha noong mga stay-in, and tried settling with an on-call labandera instead. Pero kahit 'yon ay pinagpipilian ang mga imported namin na damit at inuuwi sa kanila.

Hindi kami pinalaking madamot. Having traditional Sunday's mass attendees for grandparents on both sides, my parents were taught to be generous, forgiving, and to compensate people fairly. Kung may sobra, dapat matutong mamigay. At kung may humihingi, dapat ay bukal 'yon sa loob at makatarungan kung tutugunan. Pero, wala, e. Ninanakaw, e.

Ibig sabihin, ay may masama talagang mithiin. Isa pa, hindi kami ganoon ka-rangya para hindi maramdaman ang guwang sa tuwing sinasalisi kami.

Kung ano 'yong mga limitadong mamahaling gamit sa bahay na mayroon kami, ay kadalasang bigay lang din naman sa amin.

Our resources were bountiful compared to many. But because there were four of us who are being dressed, fed and are being sent to school, nagiging sapat at limitado nalang 'yon. Especially since the four of us were all enrolled in private school.

Education had always been my parents' top priority.

Tipid kami sa lahat. Mula sa pananamit hanggang sa pang-araw-araw na kinakain. But, not on anything academic-related. Never on anything academic-related.

Para kina Dad, it did not matter if the tuition fees were beginning to be unreasonable, or if the miscellaneous expenses were annoyingly increasing. Ang importante, makapagtapos kami sa tanyag na mga paaralan, at magiging madali para sa amin ang paghahanap ng magagandang trabaho.

And, in my case, be able to pass and graduate from a prestigious law school.

With my supposedly exemplary academic standing, everyone thought and foresaw I'd be my parent's hardwork's best result. The trophy panganay.

The trophy attorney panganay... yet, I ended up being their biggest disappointment, instead. 

Their blacksheep. 

A failure... their... flaw.

All because I allowed myself to be overwhelmed. I succumbed onto my personal crisis, and stopped pretending I could stay cool and collected under any pressure. So I ran... like the real escapist that I was.

Alas-tres na sa umaga at hindi ako maka-tulog. Nilingon ko si Sir Killian, bago dahan-dahang umalis sa kanyang tabi. Natigilan lang nang bahagyang kumunot ang noo nito at gumalaw.

Agaran tuloy ang pagkuha ko noong hinihigaang unan para ilagay sa bakante niyang braso. I warily watched him nuzzle it, at hinintay muna na bumalik ang mababaw na pag-hinga nito before I completely snuck out of his room.

Hindi pa nabubuo ang dalawang araw na lumipas simula noong nakabalik kami mula Iloilo. Pagkarating, ay dumaan lang ng ilang oras si Sir Killian sa penthouse para ibaba ako at ang mga gamit namin. Matapos noon ay dumiretso na siya sa opisina.