dm me? || namjin⚡

23

[recap! seokjin, namjoon, hoseok and yoongi went clubbing. seokjin and namjoon had their first kiss but came home from the club early because jimin called them from jeongguk's house crying after seeing jeongguk and taehyung kiss. this is the day after the incident!]

☆☆☆

jimin stopped biting his nails eight years ago, but today they were right down to the nail bed.

he looked like shit too, he just knew it. his hair was a huge tangled nest when he'd woken up this morning, and his eyes were bloodshot, with dark streaks of black under them. he hadn't wanted it to be obvious to his two best friends (if he could still call them that) that this whole situation had been stressing him out so much, and that he'd lost a whole night's sleep over it, but there was only so much that concealer and a beanie could do.

the smell of coffee that hit him when he walked into the cafe made him weak in the knees, and he was positively green with nausea. his fingers came back to his lips once more, and he only realised that he'd been biting his fingers when he tasted the familiar metallic flavour of blood.

he pulled his sleeves down over his hands and clenched them into tight fists, sliding into a seat, and waiting for the other two to arrive. he could hear his heart pounding away in his chest, the awful noise ringing in his ears, and he just wanted to close his eyes for one moment and let himself be whisked back to the past, even two days prior to this, where they were all still normal, and nothing had happened, and his crushes on his two stupid best friends wasn't something that mattered enough to cost their friendship.

he sighed, then he sighed again. maybe it was a good thing that everything would finally get out. he didn't want to have crushes that never got dealt with, like jin hyung, because jin hyung would never get over that random boy, minjung, that he had a crush on back in year nine. but then jimin found himself pondering whether closure was something he really wanted, or whether he'd rather always live in false hope-

he didn't even notice when taehyung slid into the seat opposite him. "jiminie," he said, catching his attention.

"tae," jimin replied, but it came out with a huge whoosh of air, as if he'd been holding his breath the entire time. "how are you feeling?"

taehyung shrugged, and jimin could only nod in mutual agreement. the unspoken message had been translated loud and clear.

they sat in silence, in wait for jeongguk (who wasn't late - the others were just very early). there had never been silence between taehyung and jimin - ever since they'd become friends, they'd never been able to sit and not talk, despite the times they'd argued. but today was a day like no other, and for once, jimin preferred the quiet air.

the sound of the door opening made them sit up straight, and jeongguk sat down at their table, bringing with him the wind from outside. "hey, guys," he said, and the bouncing of his leg didn't go unnoticed by jimin. jeongguk rarely got nervous.

"we're here to talk," taehyung finally said, breaking the thirty second silence, "so let's talk. if no one wants to volunteer, i'll go first."

jimin felt his cheeks burn, and when he glanced at jeongguk, he saw his flare up to. taehyung had always been good at this kind of stuff - staying cool and collected when he needed to be - whereas jimin refused to tear his gaze away from his laced hands resting on the table.

with a sigh, taehyung cleared his throat. "well, fine, then," he said, "i'll go first." he turned to jimin. "look, jimin, i'm not sure what you saw yesterday, but here's what happened."

jimin felt his ears burn in shame, humiliated that he'd reacted so badly yesterday.

"so, you went to go pee, right?" after getting a nod, taehyung continued. "well, me and jeongguk finished up our round of fifa on the xbox, and then, jeongguk kissed me. um, after that, i got really pissed off, and we argued, then namjoon hyung came in, and tried to talk to us, but i just left."

"wait, what?" jimin had wanted to speak up earlier, but his throat felt too constricted. "you didn't enjoy that kiss? from jeongguk?"

taehyung fiercely shook his head, and jimin looked at jeongguk with empathy in his eyes. "i don't even know if i like guys, you know? and gukkie, you and chim are my best friends. i wasn't expecting it at all."

jimin flinched slightly, but was almost in awe at how good taehyung was at being blunt, or straightforward... except for the burning shame he felt on behalf of jeongguk. he'd just been straight up rejected by tae and that had to hurt.

"taetae," jeongguk said suddenly, "i'm sorry that i shocked you like that, and that i made you feel uncomfortable. i really wish i hadn't done that, because now i don't get to choose how to - or even whether i should - tell you guys this. but i really need to say it, and i hope that even after i do, you guys can find it in your hearts to still be friends with me, because you really are the best friends i've ever had."

jimin knew what was coming, and he really didn't want to hear it. he didn't need jeongguk's crush to be confirmed, because in fact, he was still reeling from taehyung saying that he didn't like jeongguk's advances.

"this is going to really weird you out, but just listen okay?" jeongguk took a deep breath, and jimin could see the hesitation in his eyes right until the second that he got the words out. "i have a crush on both of you. which is probably gross and crazy to you, and i wish i didn't develop these silly feelings, but you should know that it's probably just temporar-"

"i have a crush on both of you too."

jimin wasn't sure where the sudden surge of bravery came from, but he got his message out. he cleared his throat and met their surprised eyes, preparing himself to elaborate.

"i've had a crush on you, taehyung, since year five. that's six long years of crushing, so no, i disagree, gukkie. i don't think it's just temporary." he broke his gaze from taehyung and turned to jeongguk. "as for you, it was probably quite obvious that i- i- i didn't really like you, i guess, when you first joined. i was jealous that you were so close with taehyung, and i didn't want you to come in between us. i knew- well, i guess, i thought that i would never have the courage to tell taehyung that i had a crush on him, so i was fine with us being best friends. but you were going to get in the way of that, so i wasn't particularly fond of you... especially since tae seemed to like you so much."

jimin took a deep breath, and his face slowly returned to its original colour.

"what happened? when, jiminie, and why did that change?" jeongguk was blushing, and jimin thought he looked adorable.

"well, uh," he stammered, "i obviously warmed up to you over time, and you became my best friend alongside taehyung. but remember that day when tae was sick, and we bunked biology together to sit on the roof?" jeongguk nodded. "that's when i realised that i had- different feelings for you. and i don't regret it." he turned to taehyung. "any of it."

but he regretted looking at taehyung instantly. tae's face was scrunched up in disgust, and jimin looked away almost immediately.

"i don't blame you for kissing taehyung, jeonggukie," jimin clarified, "if i was in your position, it would've seemed as though taehyung had a crush on you, instead of me."

"i'm sorry if i hurt your feelings, chim," was all jeongguk could manage.

the conversation decided to die out after that, until taehyung suddenly spoke up.

"well, i'm sorry but i really don't return the feelings," he said, "and i don't know what's going to happen from here. i'll see you tomorrow at school, yeah?"

jimin and jeongguk looked up at once. "yeah, okay," jimin mustered, and they watched taehyung walk away, without looking back.

"guk," jimin said, trying not to let his voice crack, "where do we go from here?"

jeongguk shrugged, and the sadness was radiating from the pair like they never would've imagined. "i think we should just go home, and think about what's going on." he decided eventually. "i don't know about you, but i need to clear my head."

jimin nodded mutually. he picked up his phone from the table, and together, he and jeongguk walked out in silence, eventually parting ways.

jimin was reduced to tears by the time he reached the front door.