Euphoria | bts a.u ✓

[Y/N & J-Hope] Feelings

Hoseok POV

'Why- I... Hoseok, why..? Why did you ignore Yoongi's calls?'

I sat on the hard floor and sighed under my breath.

'Am I fine? Why did I just stare at the screen every time Yoongi called me? Why didn't I answer them? What if they were urgent? What if everything had to do with Y/N-'

"Hey Hoseok," Namjoon started, coming in the dance room, "was it your phone that kept ringing?"

I looked up to Joon as I sighed.

"Yes." I replied. "My apologies."
"Alright... then why didn't you answer them?"

I went silent. I don't know, why didn't I?

"Dunno. Felt like something was stopping me from moving my fingers."
"So you just stared at your phone ringing without doing anything whatsoever?"

I sighed. What do you want me to do? Call him back?

"Tell me Hobi. What held you back?" Namjoon asked, sitting beside me.
"I..."

I looked at him then sighed. I don't know what I'm currently feeling. I'm not happy, nor sad, nor angry. I feel... a mix of emotions. Definitely not empty.

"I don't know." I said under my breath. "I don't even know how I feel right now."
"What do you mean?"
"I.. God how do I explain this.. am mixed between emotions."
"Oh. I see."

I didn't know how I felt, until someone's picture suddenly appeared in my head.

'Y/N?'

I felt my cheeks red as I touched them with my palms.

"Hoseok? Are you okay?" Namjoon asked. "Are you cold? Why are your cheeks so red?"

Should I confess to him about it? Is he trustworthy- of course he is. But I...

"Hoseok?"
"Huh? Yes?"
"Are you gonna answer my question?"
"Uhm.. Actually, Namjoon, I got something to confess..."

Namjoon widened his eyes and patted my head.

"Okay, spill it out."

I inhaled and exhaled before having enough confidence to reveal something... amazing.

"I have... feelings for Y/N." I revealed, shutting my eyes closed in embarrassment.

His eyes widened again as he retreated his hand back to his pocket. He licked his lips nervously and went through his hair. He looked pale, it probably reminded him of Taehyung and Jungkook's relationship and how... it didn't end so well.

"Ah... okay uhm... I'm not sure what I'm supposed to tell you." He said. "Umm... you do know relationships are against the rules. And well.. after what happened to uh.. you know, relationships became a big no no to me.. you know?"

I looked away and scratched the back of my head. I thought of something, but I wasn't sure if I should say it.

"I guess I understand." I said. "But..."

Namjoon waited for my response.

"But?"
"..."

'Have you ever put disbandment into consideration?' I thought.

We've been through too many hardships, they're pressuring us.

"Have you... um... ever considered... disbandment?"

Namjoon's face only looked paler. I knew it, I shouldn't have said that. Goddammit Hoseok.

"Haha... why should we? We're perfectly fine. We can continue staying as BTS."

Just like that, Namjoon stood up and left the dance room with a terrified, shocked face.

"Ugh..!" I said, looking down and shaking my head rapidly.

Y/N POV

I walked down the hall, a towel around my neck. I was about to head to the dance room when suddenly I saw Namjoon leaving the room, looking terrified.

'He's so pale... what happened?'

"Namjoon-?" I called out.

Before he could even hear me, he sprinted to an intersection and disappeared from my sight.

"What the hell happened?" I wondered.

I opened the door to the dance room and saw Hoseok on the floor, looking regretful.

'Ah... they must've argued on something.' I thought, entering the dance room.

I took a few steps forward before calling his name.

"Hoseok?"

Hoseok POV

I heard the door to the dance room open, but I didn't want to look who it was. The person's steps approached me as they suddenly stop.

"Hoseok?" A familiar female voice started.

'Shit.'

I looked up immediately to see the one special living human on this Earth who makes my heart beat like a newborn.

"Y/N?"

She smiled and nodded.

'Stop... don't smile at me like that. It'll make me pity myself.'

"Did something happen?" She asked me calmly.

Should I tell her? Should I confess.. before it's too late?

"Y/N... Min Y/N." I said, standing up and slowly walking to her.

Her shiny eyes locked into mine, she's so beautiful. I grabbed her hands and looked at her intensively into her eyes.

"Hoseok..?" She said, looking at her hands, then at me.
"Y/N... I already know the answer to what I'm about to ask, but I still need to tell you."

She gulped, probably already knowing what I wanna ask.

"Min Y/N, you're the light to my life, the flame to my torch, the picture to my frame. After all these mishaps, I don't know how my heart still beats for you."

I could see she started tearing up. After knowing everything about her past, I know it's been hard for her.

"Min Y/N, I, Jung Hoseok, like you."