Sadece İstanbul'da - Only In Istanbul - An Erkenci Kuş Story

Kız Kulesi

It was even more beautiful than what I had imagined ... In the clear April night, with the lights and the stars ... It seemed magical. All the pictures, photographs or videos I had seen could not convey what it felt like to stand next to such an emblem, such a symbol. Everything was enhanced all the more by the smell of roasting chestnuts and the lively chatter of the Istanbul people who would come out to enjoy the view together. I had dreamt of it. I had fantasized about it and there it was, finally, so close now, yet so familiar. I grinned like a child in her favourite candy shop and my first thought went to my mom who had stood on the exact same spot, on these "cursed rocks", 25 years ago. Images were crowding my mind. Images of umbrella-shaped chocolates, irresistible smiles, utter joy but also utter pain. I sighed in contentment, as if I could really breathe for the first time. The air was crisp. My toes were numb but I didn't care. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was finally where I was supposed to be, breathing in the Bosphorus breeze and exhaling all the toxicity I had brought with me from the old continent. Small black cats were jumping from rocks to rocks, pausing here and there, accepting with open disdain the caresses from humans walking by. Though amused by their shenanigans, I just stood still, my arms wrapped around me, unable to sway my gaze from the tower, like a boat making its way home to port. I'm sure the view would be completely different by daylight, as all the buildings around the coast were engulfed into the shadows of the night. But for the moment I didn't care.

No matter how exhausted I was by the long trip, yet I couldn't find the courage nor the will to tear my eyes away from one of the lighthouses of my existence. As far as I could remember, Kız Kulesi had always been part of my everyday life as my mom used to collect everything related to the tower. She had magnets, pictures, snowballs, trinkets in each and every room of the house. She often joked about her sweet "ocb" as she called it but it was more a way to fill a gap, a void inside of her, especially after my father's passing. I suppressed the tears that were already filling up my aching eyes, cursing at myself. He wouldn't want me to feel sad, especially here of all places.

It was getting late though and I had to go back to my friend's apartment in Kadıköy. Strangely I didn't feel scared nor stressed to be walking alone in the streets of the great city. There was something in the air, a sort of serenity and comfort that could not be found in the streets of London or Paris. Istanbul was never completely asleep. There were always people outside, somehow busy even in the late hours of the night.

I entered the apartment as quietly as possible, removing my shoes beforehand as it is the custom in many Turkish households. Aslı had made it very clear from the start that no shoes were to pass the threshold of her flat. I couldn't help but tease her about it as I was very familiar with the custom. With a cheeky smile I opened my bag to retrieve a pair of brand new "terlikler" and yelled "Ta da!". I entered the apartment under the incredulous look of my roommate, hissing, "tamam, tamam Aslı Teyze, sakin ol ya!". And we both erupted with laughter as soon as the door closed. I smiled fondly at the memory. I had met Aslı online. She was looking for someone to help her improve her English, I was looking for someone to practise my Turkish with, and fate did the rest. After chatting 15 minutes online, we were already like two peas in a pod. We had so much in common and yet we lived worlds apart. We used texts for some time but soon we were impatient to hear each other's voice. Two years later, the time had finally come to meet in the flesh. She'd picked me up at Sabiha Gökçen airport, hailed a taxi back to her tiny apartment on the last floor of a reddish building, not far from the ferry boat terminal. Kadıköy was a "mahalle" on the Asian side of Istanbul, with a relaxed atmosphere, famous for its lively markets displaying an abundance of fresh produces, including fish, pide, olives and stuffed mussels. Along the winding streets, alternated buildings decorated with colourful urban art, independent boutiques, trendy cafes and Anatolian restaurants. From the banks of the Moda district perfect views of the European side stretched from the Marmara Sea to the rooftops of the Sultanahmet Mosque.