My hands are trembling as I reach for the black ball point pen on the other side of the creaky wooden desk, my hands become all sweaty and I get a fast paced beating in my chest, "I don't understand why I'm all of a sudden so very scared, I've wrote to him plenty of times" as I tell myself beginning to write on the neatly placed cream coloured piece of paper.
To my dearest Oliver...
I am writing to you today as I miss you very much, there hasn't been a day that I have not thought about you and your muscular build, olive tan skin and those dreamy saphire blue eyes, I miss you more and more everyday...
I cut my hair from its normal ultra long mouse brown wavy hair, it's still the same colour as before just a bit shorter, I'm hoping you will like it when you come home..
The kids are finding it very difficult to not have there father home anymore, they need you here and so do I.
Laytons hair isn't as blonde as it used to be, it's slowly going a dirty blonde to a really light brown shade and he's kind of keeping his feelings to himself, but still hangs out with friends trying to hide his emotions and Olivia-Rose just wants her daddy home, she hasn't been eating very much and I'm getting really worried about her. Her weight has been dropping drastically and I'm getting very scared about her, I'm going to be taking her to the doctors in the next few days so I'll tell you how that goes, she's been crying alot too I think she just misses you, she needs you home,
I'm keeping myself sane by baking alot, I've filled the house with chocolate and cinnamon scents and it smells delicious,I am losing more hours at work so I'm slowly trying to find another job, I just can't wait to have you home and be home for good, we need you here and everyone misses you.
I hope everything is going good over in Afghanistan and I really do hope to have you in my arms again, I hope to hear from you soon.
I Love you more than anything
All my love Rosabell
As I finish of the letter, hot sticky tears stream down the puffy cheeks as I slip the letter into the neatly folded envelope, I spray a spritz of my favourite perfume on to the envelope to remind him I'm always here. I seal it close and place it on the table, reminding my self I have to send it off later, As I walk out of the in closed comfy office room my two beautiful children run up to me, Olivia-Rose wraps her tiny fragile arms around my skinny torso and into a bone crushing hug, "I love you mommy I wipe my tears away that are forming in my eyes, "I love you too my angels" and let go of them, Layton isn't one to show his feelings, he keeps them hidden and doesn't say much only to his closest friends, I really do love my children...
It's been two hours since I wrote the letter and I just realised it's getting dark I have to send that letter off, Layton has gone to stay at his bestfriends Michaels house for the night, Michael and Layton have been bestfriends ever since they were in diapers, this year will be there 9th year of friendship..
Olivia Rose is with me, she skips to the car, jumps in and the engine of the silver Ford Falcon roars to life, we drive off.
As I step out of the car, my hands tremble once again, Livvy grabs my hand and we walk to the post office, I feel a slight drop on my cheek and think it's raining until I realise I'm crying, tears fall from my red face as I slip the rose scented letter into the slot of the red post box, "I should be happy, why aren't I happy? I just want him home"...
