Affinity

Opening

There's things in the world I like to call Momentary Afflictions, mind the capitals. They happen to normal people, in normal situations, in their normal life. These things are regular acts of adversity or suffering, they happen at a moment, and they are things you can get over, because they are only temporary.

Now, you see, I don't face many Momentary Afflictions because, very simply, my life is not normal. It may be compared to other celebrities but not to normal, dare I say, regular people. My adversity seems to be focused on having people taking pictures of everything I do, having everything I say documented, and not being able to go out a regular event. Those aren't normal things, and so, I don't face the same Momentary Afflictions as everyone else, or most people. But, even then, I'm happy with my life. I'm happy with my friends, my family, my singing career, my fans. I'm happier than I've ever been, and so I'm okay with that.

But there's one thing that has always been such a prominent part of my life that isn't so much anymore. That thing is love. The greatest, and most lethal, Momentary Affliction. Some can last longer than others, some are drug out, and some, like some of my few ones were, were just that, Momentary. I don't find it as, at the moment, necessary, for happiness, and to be happy. It isn't that the idea is dead to me anymore, it wasn't like anyone made me cold to it, it's just not as important. This moment, this is important. And, even more than that, I don't have time to date, and even if I did, what would I have to make that guy sacrifice in his own life to be apart of mine? He couldn't protect me from the relentless shouts of banter from the paparazzi, or the ridicule online, or lies from gossip magazines. He couldn't even make me feel better because distance would pull us apart. I couldn't ask a guy to give up a normal life to a girl who chose her life to be ruled by this type of thing. I chose this, and a guy shouldn't have to give up his livelihood for my choices.

And I've come to the realization that even if I was open to the idea of dating again, it would have to be hidden, which is essentially impossible nowadays unless you stay in your house all day, which I usually do anyway if I have a free day. Which I'm completely content with. I've never been the girl that needs attention, I'm perfectly fine with a day of stalking my fans on social media, baking, watching tv shows and movies in bed, and throwing the occasional treat to my cats. There's nothing wrong with that, those are actually some of my favorite days. I value those free days because they are few and far between, I have to take advantage of them while I can, and a boy would only distract me from Law and Order duties.

I have had guys try, they've sincerely tried to fit in but it's never worked. In those moments, I felt like i was in love. What else could it be that is stronger than like, anyway? What I felt is, also, another term I've tended to coin, False Gold in the Metaphorical Terms Of Love. It sounds like a book name or some article you get in your philosophy class, I know. But, it's always something i tend to be drawn to. I see something that looks real, feels real, but when you but it to the test and put pressure on it, it cracks into little pieces and falls apart. That's what my relationships tend to do. I think the person could be the one, but every single time they are put up to the test, they crumble, even if they deal with the same things I deal with, famous or not.

But that's not the point at the moment, the point is I'm happy. I don't need love right now, I'm happy with everything that is happening and I will continue to be. Love is not something I need anymore, and in some ways, I do find myself distancing myself from the idea. It's too far fetched to see myself in that way right now. Album release is an absolutely time-consuming event but it's also one of my favorite times for a number of reasons. There's just not enough time in the day for something else, and I'm fine with that. I'm fine with bypassing normal Momentary Afflictions like love and simply being happy, and that's just my main focus at the moment.

••A/N

Hey guys, the previous opening glitched and is no longer up for some reason so I had to start over. Anyway, this is the new fanfic and it's basically present-day Taylor because she hasn't exactly been staying close to idea of love based on her recent interviews. And she deserves so much more, so I decided that i had to pick up from there. Love ya