a suicide note that will never be read

this is to you mom bc quite honestly its all your fault

all day everyday you make me feel like shit. and the only way i can combat that is to talk back. you make think its direspectful but all my other coping mechanisms are worse. you yell at me when my grades arent perfect but let my brother do what ever the hell he wants. how do you think being told im not smart enough feels. you already call me fat and a disgusting pig and this is just too much. you take money from me and give it to my brother and then still try to make me pay for things that should be paid for by you. you yelled at me ab the bathroom not being clean but just a week ago you said it isnt just my bathroom so why am i the only one responsible for making it dirty. and the one thing that makes me happy you barely want to take me to. you dont care ab me enough to let me see my friends and you see me working my ass off to get enough money for a trip. these are all things i need to have or i will fall into an infinite pit of depression. you want to be rewarded for doing the things parents are expected to do. and as you walk into my room as i have a panic attack you dont care you just want to know where some goddamn spray is. maybe im not perfect and maybe im not as smart as you wish but that doesnt give you the right to make me feel like shit ab myself. so if one day you come into my room and i dont open my eyes know that its your fault. almost 16 years of hatred is enough for someone to kill themselves and i hope you see that now.