Unlimited Pride

Identity

Now, there are many parts of my life that I could share.

I could share my journey about my sexuality. My struggle between labels. Coming out, and the fear that cane with it.

But the story I want to share is how I figured out I was transgender.

I'm not exactly sure when it happened. It was gradual, I guess. I had always known I was... different, as cliche as it sounds. But in my family, I was never really exposed to this thing called "transgender." Of course, I had heard of it, but I didn't really know what it was and what it meant.

And then came the internet.

Everything I wanted to know, at the tips of my fingers. Nothing could stop me.

I started doing research just on the LGBTQIA+ community. That's when I learned about pansexual, and started going between the labels bi and pan. That's when I figured out one of my closest friends was aromantic. And that's when I figured out I had gender dysphoria.

Now, for those who don't know, gender dysphoria is where a person feels discomfort/distress because there's a mismatch between their biological sex and their gender identity. In other words, it's basically what makes someone transgender.

Then I started doing research on transgender. What it was, what it meant. I watched people transition on YouTube, I looked at art about dysphoria for hours, and I learned how to bind.

Binding is the real thing that shaped my identity from a cis girl to a trans guy. It's what made me say, I'm not a woman, and I have never been.

From that point forward, I started accepting my transgender identity. I started coming out to people, started changing what I wore, started looking at new names. I went through many, but finally decided on one: Caleb.

It took a while, but I finally came out to the people I loved. My family, my friends, teachers and coaches. I was able to buy good quality binders, was able to cut my hair, wear masculine clothes and drop all the dresses and makeup.

And, sure, there was plenty of bullying that came with being transgender. And I hated it, really. But at least I was happier in my own skin. I had a group of friends that supported me and my needs. A school in which most people called me by my preferred name and pronouns.

Already, I had come out to most people as bisexual. Coming out as transgender was much harder, but I was able to do it. Around the school I was labeled as the 'queer kid,' but personally I was fine with it. I was able to start a GSA, was able to educate my peers on different gender identities and sexual orientations.

There's so much more to my story, though, than my gender or sexuality. And that's what I tried to teach people. I tried to make people understand that we're all just... people. No one is right or wrong, we're all just human.

"You know, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender - people are people."
-Judith Light