Rolling in the deep 2

Chapter 32 "The letter"

RID2#CHAPTER 32
THE LETTER

My Dearest Rikky,

I am not going to beat around the bush because I really don't have much time left.

I have been meaning to talk to you but my frail being just couldn't. I am scared, hurting and too weak.

I came and gave an end to you and Gavin's relationship but I swear I didn't mean to. I didn't want to.

I didn't know he had you, in a serious state I mean.

Gavin was not the serious type--then.

But as you may have known by now, I didn't have any choice.

I have Chastity and she needs her father.

I am not really staying for good Rikky and it hurts me that I will be leaving my daughter behind.

That I won't be there when she needs me the most, that I won't be there to share her laughter with her achievements, that I won't be there to cry with her during her darkest moments.

That I will be dead.

When you are dying, you don't get to see the other side of the picture. You just see what you think is best for your daughter.

I am sorry for getting most of the attention of Gavin.

I am sorry I came in the wrong moment.

I am sorry I have to hurt my dear cousin.

I am sorry I thought of leaving her to you.

Yes, to both of you. I earnestly ask you to be the mother of Chastity, I will be happy if you'd take her as your own. I wasn't blessed with the perfect mother. My mother has her own family and like you to your mother, I never grew up with her.

And I do not want that for Chastity.

Please find it in your heart to love and accept her as your own, because I just couldn't.

God knows how much I would love to see her grow but life is not good to me.

Life was never good to me.

Gavin chose Chastity over you not because he doesn't love you. He saw that Titi needed him most, I just couldn't take good care of our daughter anymore. I did not want Titi to see me dying. To see me slowly letting her go.

I just couldn't.

I swear I didn't came back to get Gavin back or whatsoever. Should I have been without cancer then surely Titi and I had been in the US living in peace.

But as I have said, life was never good to me.

What fears me most now that my death is certain is your acceptance.

Please give Titi the affection of a mother that I couldn't give.

Please accept her as your own.

Please be happy with them. Gavin loves you more than anyone else, he just turned out to be more responsible than emotional and I thank him for that.

But please give him a chance and be happy for yourselves and in the long run for Titi as well.

I will be forever thankful it's you who Gavin really loved.

Someone I trust.

Someone I can entrust my daughter with all my heart.

Again, I am sorry, thankyou and goodbye.

With love  and much respect in you,

Jessica