All the Love We Create

Chapter 1

Polyamory is practice of having multiple relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. At least, that is what it means to me. It is different for each person. For my husband and I, it is knowing that we can date and love other people outside of our core relationship. When we first began delving into polyamory, we had no idea what it had in store for us, and how it would strengthen our relationship. This has forced us to talk about more things and has helped our communication skills. Our relationship is stronger now than it has ever been. Sam and I have been married for nearly 11 years. It has not always been easy, but together we have grown and learned who we are.

When most people find out that we are polyamorous they immediately think that there is something wrong with our relationship. Then, they think that it is some sort of weird sex game. While sex is a part of most relationships, it is not the main priority. Sex is a natural part of adult relationships, but it takes time to get to that point.

Sam and I have both had relationships apart from one another. Dating together had never appealed to us. It is hard enough to find one person to date, let alone someone who is wanting to date a couple. Finding the right chemistry is hard and adding a third person to that makes it even more difficult. I have been the third in a relationship with a couple that were married. It is hard to join that type of relationship and feel secure. While that relationship (and others) did not last, I learned from it and grew as a person.

When I met Sara I was not looking for a relationship, especially with a woman. I had tried dating women, and it always ended in disaster. As much as I love women, and the beauty that each woman possess I had given up on that. Sara and I met in an online group chat geared towards polyamory. She was friends with a couple in the group and soon joined in. From the beginning I was captivated by her. Not just her beauty, but her quick wit, constant flirting and her personality.

Sam and I went to visit Liz and Adam and had an amazing time. We sat around all night talking by the fire. It felt good to hang out with another couple who understood what it is like to be polyam and to talk about how hard it can be. Unsurprisingly, it is harder for a married man who is polyam than it is for a married woman. Upon meeting a polyam man and finding out that he has a wife most women dismiss that man as someone who is cheating on his spouse. For women, most unattached men have no issue with it and take it at face value.

Adam and Liz lived out in the middle of nowhere, so it didn't matter that we had a fire going until 3 a.m., music blaring and lots of laughter. It felt good to have the freedom to talk openly about our lifestyle and what led us to that point.

A couple weeks later, Sam was out of town for work and Liz texted me to ask if I wanted to come over and lay by the pool that she and Adam had just set up. I was thrilled. For one, I was finally making friends. I had been shy most of my life and had a habit of hiding myself. But I felt free, because these are people just like me.

When I arrived out at Adam and Liz's place, Liz let me know that Sara was going to be joining us. I was thrilled that another person was joining us and was looking forward to meeting Sara in person. Liz and I sat around the pool getting some sun with her kids. I heard a truck pull up and Liz let me know that Sara was here. I felt myself get nervous. I saw Sara walk up, she was wearing a pair of short denim shorts, a red handkerchief pattered top and flip flops. In one had she had a case of beer and in her other a case of diet coke.

Sara shouted a "hey ya'all!" at all of us and went inside to change her clothes. I don't know if I was able to respond, all I could do was stare. Sara was more beautiful in person than her pictures online showed. She came back out in a red bikini top and a pair of dark blue swim shorts. She sat in the lounge chair next to me and immediately pulled me into a hug. We sat around talking for hours. She asked me if I wanted a beer, and when I told her no and that I didn't drink she took it in stride. For the first time in my life, I told someone that I didn't drink and wasn't asked a thousand questions as to why. I finally didn't have to explain that I didn't drink because I previously would binge drink to "fit in" and would then proceed to make an ass out of myself. When Sara came back from grabbing a beer, she handed a diet coke with a smile, a wink and said that she remembered Liz and I talking quite often of our love affair for diet coke.