"i thought you were a guy, that's why we even answered your craigslist offer!"
"well i look like a little boy so i think that's good enough, am i right?"
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"no joey." he says. "why would i be crushed that my brother got you instead of me?" grayson's words were already a trigger pulled and aimed at my heart. let alone the facial expressions that were controlling the emotions held in his eyes, the feelings that spilled from every other part. it was heartbreaking to have to sit and tell him who i wanted better. because it was even more disappointing to not have a way to tell him that wasn't the case. that he wasn't any less piled up at the top of the people i had loved.
"grayson," i was trying to search for a way to put it, even my brain was jumbled up and purely muddled on how to tell me what to say too.
"joey i know." grayson nods, his hands going over his face as he rubs it in frustration. he takes a deep breath before he faces me once more. "i know how hard this is for you. i can actually feel how much this hurts you. remember?" he brings up. "i know how are you."
"gray that doesn't matter." i defend as i shake my head faintly, an obvious pout on my lips. "you still liked me. i mean not too long ago we had sex. i don't do that with just anyone." i comment. "i tried that and trust me it didn't work out." i add almost innocently and oblivious, a shiver following from the memories of valentine's day.
"i know." he repeats, shrugging his shoulders. "but am i going to haunt you with your decision because of that?" grayson questions and i sit there trying to figure out that answer on my own as well. "maybe for a week." he admits when i smile sadly before he then reaches over, a hand over mine. the contact is enough to make me wiggle myself into a hole and play the breakfast club for another seven hours. "but seriously joey. as upsetting as it is, im definitely not like my brother. i still want you to be my friend, i still care about you so much." he tells me when i nod.
"okay." i mumble after he speaks as he then pulls away and sighs once more.
"but give me some time to get back to normal. i got to find a quick way to get over you." grayson announces when i show him my understanding with the motion of my head. "now c'mon lets go back out there." he tells me when i listen, standing up and watching him lead the way.
"wait gray!" i say frantically, his hand ghosts over the door knob of his room as he turns around and gazes at me instead.
"yeah?" he asks, confusion influencing his tone of voice.
"i just-" spit it out, joey. "i'm sorry." i say.
"joey i told you. you don't have to do-" before he could get the rest of his sentence out, im wrapping my arms around his stomach. my face pressed into the crook of his neck before his lack of doing the same back is then replaced by the feeling of him copying my actions. he settles into the hug and seems to even hold me tighter. his breath softens and grayson hums from the contact.
