Anguished and Dimmed Sunshine

The clouds that towered above the rooftops were dimmed into a deep shade of grey. Heavy rain battered the concrete spires, dampening the streets with its unforgiving cold moisture.
Fae sat on her wooden armed-chair turned towards the shiny mahogany desk facing the fogged windowsill. With a hot cup of tea in her hand, hot vapour rising and coiling in intricate shapes caressing her cheeks, taunting her of the heavy hole in her chest.

Fae took a sip of her tea. It was delightfully sweet and warm like the stamp of his lips onto hers, this faint reminder of his presence made her heart ache like fire scorching her skin. She stared at her free hand rested onto the arm of the chair, her eyes travelled from her fingers that were too slender and landed on the ring that rested upon it. She realised that it had been three months since the Great War ended. Three months of the news of his passing. Fae settled the now-empty cup onto the desk, tilting her head back as she faced the ceiling, she slowly shut her eyes and reminisced the past.

And there she was again, at her front porch. Where her world crumbled into ruins.

A slow but loud knock echoed through the living room followed by the sounds of men stirring outside the door. With uncontained hope that it was her beloved, she rushed towards the door. The thumping sounds of her steps against the floorboards and the chirp of birds resonated in her chambers, matching the thunderous heartbeat in her chest. Streaks of beautiful sunlight cascading into rays reflected her green eyes as she ran, she thought it was the perfect moment, a blessed day for her reunion. She halted in front of her porch, wheezing from the adrenaline that previously coursed within her. Sweat trickled from her hairline to her cheeks and down her chin, it painted the longing in her face, that sweet reunion she had been waiting for.

With no time to waste, Fae twisted the doorknob and swung the door. Cool air caressed her cheeks, her face, and she realised how flushed she was from the sudden burst of excitement.

"Austin! I am so–" Fae's enthusiasm dropped. The sight before her was not what she had expected. Two men stood in front of her porch dressed in military gear, their chests adorned with badges of honour. "Y-yes? Is there something I could d-do for you, gentlemen?" She stuttered on her words, a fake smile plastered on her face that spoke of the uneasiness building inside her.

"Mrs. Fae Rogers?" The right man spoke. Fae nodded in response and he continued, "Ma'am, we are sorry to inform you," he handed her a letter with a bloodred rose seal on top.

Bloodred rose. That was her and Austin's favourite.

"Your husband, Mr. Austin Rogers has passed." His lips were a thin line. An echo of how dreadful the news was to her.

"That's not true..." Fae's legs buckled from the coldness that was spreading ever-so-slowly inside her chest throughout her body. "He promised to come back..." slowly, her legs gave in but before the ground could swallow her, a hand reached out, keeping her upright.

"Ma'am–" The soldier on the left that had caught her bellowed in shock.
"Thank you for informing me." Fae pushed his hand away and shut the door.

The news of Austin's death had not yet sunk in fully. Fae stared at the room, at the radiating sunlight in the house, but she could no longer see it. There was no light. Only grimly shadows casted by the empty furniture. What her hope had been, ended in a single moment left with a chasm of void.

Austin Rogers has passed.

And her legs, once again wobbled and she sank on the floor. The ground seamlessly seeping the strength away from her body. No longer did she feel the warmth. She was now pale. And cold.

Fae finally crumbled. Tears clouding her beautiful green eyes and staining her cheeks. Her world spiralling into a never-ending destruction left in ruins.

There was no chirp of birds. Only sobs of grief.

Fae's eyes fluttered open. How long had she fallen asleep? She did not know. Only that wet tears stained her cheeks once more. The nightmares of the past that haunted her until now. Nightmares of the fact her beloved was not coming back.

She was all alone.

She stood up from the chair and walked towards the no-longer fogged window. She realised it had stopped raining awhile ago and sunlight had started penetrating the ghastly and enormous clouds above. The light shone upon the bloody roses on the flower bed, it reminded her of his lips that had called her 'Sunshine' over and over. She relished on the tone of his voice, the curve of his lips, she grew to love the sunshine. She loved how he swore that not even time could erase the imprinted loving embrace from his mind and how Fae thought the same. And that was exactly why she could not forget, her life torn and devoid of happiness from what she lost. From what she yearn.

Fae held up her hand against the window, the touch cold and grim against her fingertips just like the forbidding morrow that awaited her. She caught a glance at her reflection; her eyes were ringed with black and her cheeks were hollow, even her green eyes seemed to be a shade darker. She looked like a complete stranger to herself from three months back. She no longer resembled that woman Austin fell in love with.

Fae hissed at her reflection, it reminded her of a withering flower ready to be plucked and thrown. And maybe, just maybe she was that withering flower with grief slowly consuming her.

Maybe that was why she no longer loved the Sunshine.

She clutched the fringe of the curtains into her fist and vexedly pulled it shut, drowning the room with darkness.

She despises the garish light of day.